A Little Hope

20. Forget Me Not

"Well you look like yourself, but you're somebody else, only it ain't on the surface. Well you talk like yourself, no, I hear someone else though. Now
you're making me nervous."
~Flora Cash

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Sebastian's POV
"Dissociative Amnesia. That's my probable diagnosis; however, seeing as how she's only been like this for a couple of days, I don't want to give a diagnosis just yet. This could be just an episode that she will eventually come out of, but of course, only time will tell," the psychiatrist said.

I had taken Savannah who was still wary of me and clung to Jasmine with a tight grip. Rue was in the waiting room, anxiously waiting for what the doctor would hear. I didn't want to come here but Jasmine nudged and I finally caved.

Something was wrong. She hasn't come out of her headspace in days and she seemed to not remember Rue or I. I hated it. I wanted to gather her in my arms and push all the darkness away, but I was stuck here helpless with the only option of letting this stupid shrink look at my Savannah like a new science experiment.

This was all because of her father. When I saw what she and Rue had done up on that stage at graduation, I felt proud. That was my girl up there standing up for what was right. Jasmine had let out happy tears over this event. She waved her parents over to go back to their hotel while we went to go collect our little rascals as they got dragged away by security.

I thought they would get lectured but never did I think that the principal would call her father. I saw the freak stand there and I saw her freeze up. I saw that faraway look in her eyes and I knew she was dissociating to escape the reality that her father was really there.

I wanted to throw up at the sight of him touching her shoulder. I promised her I wouldn't let him touch her ever again and that she would never have to see him. I crumpled inside as I realized I broke my promise. I did this. I failed her. I saw her slip further into herself and I couldn't help it.

I rushed over and punched him to the ground. I went to turn towards Savannah and asked her if she was okay but she didn't respond. She looked at me as though I was a stranger. I could only watch as she ran to Jasmine crying. I saw Jasmine cuddle her tightly until she relaxed.

I got flashbacks of her walking down the halls with Jasmine hand in hand. She would always be skipping and clutching a stuffie in her hand. With ribbons in her hair, she displayed the kind of innocence that we all yearned you get rid of. While others sought to run away from it, Savannah clutched onto her childhood with a tight grip, not wanting to let go for fear of watching it vanish before her very eyes.

Jasmine was always by her side to guard that precious being and to make sure nothing ever got through the crevices of the tiny world that only them two shared. It was a curious world that would gather eyes that liked to peer in with questions and judgment.  I never looked at it like that. I saw the way she looked at Jasmine like she was the only thing that would keep her grounded in this crazy hurtful world. Savannah needed Jasmine.

Just when I fought tooth and nail, she was finally beginning to look at me that way, yet I had let her down. I had lost that look and now she was back with Jasmine. As hurt as I was, I couldn't be angry. Trauma does things to people that are sometimes unexplainable. Maybe if I had gotten there a little sooner, things would've been a bit different.