A Little Hope

14. Home Is You

"It's a bittersweet feeling, longing and I'm leaving. I go, I go, I go. Tell my heart to lie,
but I know deep inside it's true
that I wish I was there with you."
~Dua Lipa

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Savannah's POV
Ever since I said goodbye to Sebastian at the library, I wasn't okay. It was hurtful to see him do a complete one-eighty, from being protective and caring to indifferent and cold; however, I knew that it was justified. He declared his love for me, and in return, I told him I was moving out to be with my best friend. This situation was rough, but I felt as though I was making the right decision. After all, Jasmine was the one I yearned for all these years. It wasn't possible for that to all change
in a matter of months.

Or was it?

I knew deep down there was something for Sebastian, but I didn't want to believe in it because somewhere inside me I still loved Jasmine too. I didn't want to bother Sebastian anymore either. He did so much for me. He swept me off my feet. He rescued me from everything that made me want to crawl into a hole and die. I missed him so much and it felt as though there was a missing part of me and he only had it.

But then I look as Jasmine's face and I'm reminded why I loved her so much all these years. She's kind and always there to comfort me. Her beautiful brown eyes always lit up when they saw me. It was as if the piece of me that died when they cut down our tree had suddenly sprouted again when our love was finally declared. All I needed was her hand to hold, and I knew I would be alright.

Still, these doubts concurred with me as I tossed and turned at night, dreaming about being in his arms. That first week was awful without Sebastian. I missed Rue more than anything. Jasmine tried to cheer me up. She would hold me and even bottle fed me, despite my face blushing a million times over. She would let me be little and didn't mind that I had accidents at night sometimes. She loved me unconditionally, even if I didn't deserve it.

Despite all her best efforts, it didn't do much. When I saw Sebastian walk through the hallways holding Rue's hand and not even glancing in my direction, it stung. It stung so bad I had to clutch my chest to make sure my heart hadn't stopped due to the amount of pain that I felt.

The worst night was when I had a nightmare. Sebastian, Jasmine, and Rue were all in my dream. Jasmine was the knight and she rescued me from the evil two-headed dragon, one head being my father while the other was Justin, but her attempt failed and the dragon ate her. It tried eating me next, but Rue, the prince, stood by and attacked it with a stuffie. The dragon picked him up and was going to eat him too, but Sebastian, the farm boy, rescued him. I thought he was going to save me too, but he looked at me with hate and said, "Not you. You can be eaten for all I care." Then he took Rue, and left me all alone with the dragon, who then ate me.

I woke up screaming and crying yelling for Sebastian and Rue. Jasmine rushed into the bedroom and picked me up to rock me. I eventually calmed down but I was clingy and didn't want her to leave me. I was too sad to hold a stuffie, as they were all in the bags that Sebastian had packed for me but I couldn't bear to look at as they all reminded me of him.

I just cried into Jasmine while she rubbed my back and whispered sweet nothings into my ear. I
ended up sleeping with Jasmine that night and the following nights. I missed my old room even though Jasmine setting up a pastel blue room Ariel themed room for me. Ariel was my favorite Disney Princess and she remembered that months ago, which made me both blush and happy at the same time. Jasmine would hold me in her arms and I laid against her soft chest which felt like heaven, still, I felt myself missing Sebastian's firm one.