A Little Hope

6. Freedom At It's Finest

"And I'll never go home again."
~Lorde

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"I'm free."

I never thought I'd get to say those words. But I did. And it was because of him. He was a hero. My hero. I recalled what he told me:

"Ever since freshman year, I've been watching you... Not watching you but more like watching over you."

I blushed at his words. I don't know why he watches over me. I mean I'm not like other girls. I don't have the body of a woman nor do I act like one. So why would he bother? Then it hit me. He felt sorry for me. He looked at me as a child and he wanted to protect me because of that. I grew upset because I didn't want anyone's pity. But at that moment, his pity was better than going back to my father's house. And for that, I was eternally grateful for him. The best I could do was to get a job and try to leave as soon as I could. That way I wouldn't be a bother to him.

Sebastian opened up the trunk up and put my suitcase in it. He stared at the suitcase for a minute, looking confused, but then he closed the trunk and went to open up the back door. I was still kind of mad he wouldn't let me sit in the front seat but I was in no place to argue so I let it slide. I managed to get the buckle by myself this time so he just got into the driver seat and we started our way back to his apartment.

When we got there, he carried my suitcase up the stairs and opened the door. I got a good look at his apartment for the first time. When you first walked in, there was hardwood floors throughout the apartment, besides the bedroom. He had a grey couch with a simple flat screen TV. He had a Xbox with two controllers. In front of the couch, he had a dark wooden coffee table. If you looked to the right, he had the kitchen with an island bar with three seats. The cabinets were black and he had stainless steel appliances. I wondered how someone in high school could afford all of this.

I stopped looking around when Sebastian spoke to me, "So, I was thinking I'd take the couch and you could take the bed. At least until we get you a bed."

"Absolutely not. This is your apartment. I'm lucky to even be here. You take the bed and I'll take the couch," I retorted back to him.

He was hiding a smile and replied, "If it's my apartment, then my rules. I take the couch and you take the bed. End of discussion."

I pouted and said, "Bu-".

He cut me off and said with a smirk, "No butts, princess."

I blushed at his words. This cheeky bastard knew what he was doing, didn't he? Well, two could play at that game. I pouted and asked in my sweetest voice, "Please? You've already done so much. I don't want to be a burden. If you don't let me sleep on the couch, I'll feel guilty."

His eyes melted and I knew I win. He was putty in my hands. It was like stealing candy from an old man. I almost felt sorry for the poor fellow.

He cleared his throat, obviously trying to keep control over the situation, and said, "Fine. But first thing tomorrow, we're going out and buying you a bed. Understood?"

I bowed my head and nodded submissively but inside I grinning and smirking. I won. I had the real control here. It was easier to get away with things with him rather than it was with Jasmine. My heart fell a little at the memory of her. I still loved her. I loved her so much. Her leaving didn't change that. I missed her so much. But she was gone.

I shoved her to the back of my head and tried to focus on now. Sebastian looked at me worried and asked, "Are you okay, love? You went away for a bit."

I nodded my head and he pulled me into a hug. He asked, "Is this okay?". My eyes started to tear up. He asked me if it was okay. Nobody has ever asked me if it was okay to touch me before. Nobody ever gave me the opportunity to say no. I never had the right to before now. I started sobbing and I nodded my head and fell into him. I buried my head into him and gripped him tightly. His arms tightened around me as he whispered sweet nothings into my ear.

"Hey, it's okay Savannah... Do you think it's okay if I ask you why you're crying? Did I do something wrong? If I did, I'm so sorry sweetheart," he said.

That made me cry harder. This sweet human thought I was crying because of him. And better yet, he apologized for it. "I'm not crying because of you," I managed to get between fits of crying. He pulled me out from his neck to look me at me face to face.

"Then what is it, sweet pea?" He asked.

"You asked me if you could touch me," I mumbled.

Apprehension washed over his face as he finally understood. His face went deep into concentration and, after a minute, he said, "I have an idea. Do you think you can try it?"

I nodded my head as he carried on, "What if every time of you feel uncomfortable with anything I say or do, you use a word as a code to tell me that your not okay with it. I know you don't really know how to communicate that your uncomfortable with something, so maybe this would help? And if someone else makes you uncomfortable, you can just say the word and I'll go beat them up."

I thought about it. He was suggesting a safe word. I don't think he knew that it was a safe word but that's what it was. Usually it's used for sexual things, but for nonsexual things it was actually a genius idea. But the part about about him knowing whether or not it was a safe word had me curious. I asked him, "So, a safe word?".

Confusion flashed onto his face and he responded puzzled, "A safe word? What's that?".

"It's what you just suggested. Except people typically use them when they're involved in certain kinks like BDSM. The submissive and dominant has a safe word that they use when the other goes too far and they're not okay with it."

His face turned a deep red as he listened as I explained it to him. I was trying my best to hide my smile. Finally, the tables had turned and he was the one embarrassed. He cleared his throat and nervously responded, "Um... Yeah, I guess a safe word then... But not in that nature of course."

I couldn't hold it in anymore and started laughing. He glared at me playfully and asked me, "So then is that something you want to do?".

I teased him and asked, "The kink part?".

His face went red again and he smacked me gently on the arm, "No, not that part! The other part about the safe word."

I laughed harder and finally replied, "Yeah, I think that would help a lot."

"Good. What do you want the word to be?"

"Banana," I muttered without thinking.

Sebastian nodded his head and responded, "Banana it is then."

I smiled at him and he smiled back. So this was what freedom felt like. The feeling of safety. Not being in imminent danger. I could get used this. His arms felt like safety and home.

We moved to the couch to watch Tv and he even let me pick the channel. I gleamed as Gumball flashed across the screen. Sebastian chuckled at me and hugged me tighter. Eventually, my world went dark and I fell asleep listening to the heartbeat of someone that I knew would keep my safe forever.