A Little Hope

27. Don't Leave Me Behind

Sebastian's POV
I've haven't seen Savannah smile since the morning before my mother arrived. Sure, she's smiled here or there, but it wasn't her big, genuine smile that made me excited to see.  I missed that smile. I wondered if she would show it to me again sometime soon.

The beginning had been a bit rough but once my siblings had come, it had smoothed things over. Savannah was already attached to Myra and Luis, and them to her. The only thing I had to do now was to integrate Mom into that picture.

Things had now been peaceful. Despite the meltdown from my mother, today was amazing. We spent time with the kids and I had gotten to be a caregiver for Savannah, something I had missed doing. Life was finally starting to look up.

Why was it when things get good, suddenly life has a way to hit you below the belt and make everything fall apart? I felt myself crumble and inside pleaded with Savannah to tell me it was all lies. I asked her, "W-what?".

Savannah's horrified face turned around to see me in the shadows of the darkness. Behind her, Gabriel's face smirked at me as he grabbed Savannah and pulled her to him as he said, "You heard her. We kissed. That tends to happen when two people start to develop feelings for one another."

Savannah pulled away from his grasp and ran over to take my hand. She pleaded with me, "Sebastian, don't listen to him. I don't like him. It was one kiss after we had that huge fight. I wasn't thinking clearly."

I couldn't look at her. Deep down, I knew this was my fault. I had pushed her away until she found herself in the arms of another. I just couldn't get over her betrayal and this deepening hole that was starting to form in the pits of my soul.

I suddenly saw her for who she was at that moment: a stranger. I didn't recognize who Savannah was anymore. She has grown and she suddenly wasn't the meek, quiet girl that I first met. She was confident now and wise. She wasn't little around me anymore and I think she knew that was because I would hurt her most vulnerable part of herself if she had let me near her.

It hit me that I hadn't been her caregiver for months. I couldn't remember the last time I heard the word daddy come out of her mouth. I wasn't even sure if she was my girlfriend anymore. I watched her eyes gaze from me to him and it pained me. She gave him the same look that she had given to me when she was with Jasmine. Longing and not here with me.

Bitterness filled inside me as I shoved Gabriel out the door. I ignored his protests and slammed the door shut. I could hear his pounding on the door, pleading for Savannah. Savannah didn't pay any attention and tried to gather mine instead. I walked past her and went to my room.

I locked the door and picked up my phone. I found myself going through pictures on it. Savannah deep in little space with a pacifier in her mouth. Savannah when we went camping and gazing up at the stars. Savannah with Rue smiling and giggling. When was the last time she was happy like that?

Tears rolled down my face as I stared at her in the photos. I missed her. Why couldn't she and my mom just get along? Why couldn't I have them both in my life? I already ruined Myra's and Luis' lives by keeping them away from their mother for the last five years. I didn't even recognize them anymore. I didn't recognize my mother anymore. I didn't recognize me anymore. Who was I now?

I ignored Savannah's continuous pleas at the door and closed my eyes. Darkness was surrounding me. I just wanted to cave in to it. I drifted off into a seamless hoping I could wake up from this nightmare that was enveloping my entirety.