I Know Places We Can Hide (Kaylor FanFic)

Doctor, Doctor

The appointment was okay.

The doctor got a bit more serious through the appointment. I was happy when she was asking things about me. And then they started to get more personal and about my childhood and other stuff.

I didn't like it from then on.

But I stuck it out.

Taylor had tried so hard to get me this appointment and I had to meet her halfway by trying.

The doctor noticed that I was hesitant to answer some questions. But her approach to solving that was by asking them another way to make it seem like a different question.

At some times I just wanted to yell.

I didn't want to be here. I wanted to go back home and curl up with Tay in her bed and watch Grey's.

It always fixes everything.

There hasn't been a boy problem or a fight that couldn't be fixed with a marathon of Grey's.

But when I thought things like these and wished myself away, I felt like I was pushing Taylor away and rejecting what she was trying to do for me. And I didn't want to do that.

She's the only one that's tried to help, at least really meant it. I owe it to her.

So I sat uncomfortably and answered all of her questions.

Some, I skirted around and fluffed them up. And she never really got a definitive answer for them because they were the ones that made me most uncomfortable.

Holding Taylor's hand and feeling her squeeze it when she knew I wasn't that comfortable made a difference.

There's no way I could have gotten this help for myself and dealt with it.

I was so grateful that she was there.

"So Karlie," I always hated questions that started like that. They were always serious. "When did this first begin?"

Ahh, the question we had all been waiting for. It was only a matter of time.

"Umm... When I was twelve, maybe thirteen. Around then." Taylor squeezed my hand then. I think it was more for her benefit then mine. Every time she heard how long, I could feel her cringe. Whether she showed it or not.

The doctor showed shock too.

She didn't react in near she same way that Taylor did, but she was surprised.

I thought she might be a bit more shocked than she was. She was too busy writing her notes I guess.

"Okay. And how does that make you feel? That you've been going through this for so long. And it's only now that... That you have gotten help."

I hated that question.

At the end when she said that you have gotten help. It's like she was blaming me for not getting better before this.

I'm sure that's not what she meant. At all.

I was just angry and wanted to turn something on someone else I guess.

"Well. I guess I don't really know how I feel. It's been so long that I'm used to it. It's normal to me now. And for the record, it's not like I didn't want help, I did... I just never had anyone to notice or know and make me get it. I didn't see what was wrong because to me, it wasn't wrong. Right now, I feel lucky at the moment. That I have Taylor who has found out. It's a relief to have someone know and who wants to help you at that."

Taylor squeezed my hand and I looked sideways at her. I gave a little smile and waited for the next question.

"Very good Karlie." She made a few more notes in her book and was silent. "I think we've done good today. We are out of time, but I would recommend you schedule further appointments with me. If you wish that is. I believe we can get you the help you need. There are three things we look for when treating patients and assessing their recovery. The first is; strong support. That you have, I can see it in the pair of you. The second is; history. We always assess the history of a patient for possible risks, length of illness and any other considerations that need to be made. Through my questions, I have established all I need to know on that point, so I'm confident there. And the third is; the patient's willingness of desire to get better. That, I'm not so sure about. But, with further consultation that can be better assessed. Karlie, overall, I'm confident that we can get you better. It will take some time, so patience is a necessity. But if you are willing, if you are both willing, I think we can have you healthy again."

"Thank you. We really appreciate your time, Dr Andrews."

Taylor stood with a smile and I followed suit. We left quietly, Taylor informing the receptionist that we'd get back to her on a date for later consultation.

On the car ride home, I replayed the session in my mind. Dr Andrews had called my problem an illness.

That was the first time that anyone had called it that.

I mean, there weren't many people talking about it because no one knew.

That's why it was so weird to hear it be called an illness. I guess it technically is that, but it's always just been a problem to me.

We were both quiet on the trip home.

Taylor was probably letting it all sink in. She doesn't like to overwhelm people.

I knew what she was waiting to ask. I wouldn't be mad.

I knew that she'd want it. I could do it for her. Because if I was being honest, it wasn't that bad.

I would go to one more and see how it went. Then we could talk about why happens next. I had to try for her.

We walked in the door and had been inside for a matter of seconds before Taylor asked.

"Karlie, do you want me to make another appointment?"