I Know Places We Can Hide (Kaylor FanFic)

Questions and Answers

There it was.

How long has this been happening?

I have to think about it before I can answer Taylor.

I have to think back to the first time I ever did it. But is that when it begins, or does it begin when you first have thoughts of doing it?

Do I tell her that on and off, since I was thirteen, I've been doing things like this. Not eating for days or eating and throwing it up immediately. Or do I say that I started thinking about it when I was twelve but never acted until a year later.

That would make it ten years since I've been thinking about it and almost ten since I first did it.

"Karls?" I was lost in forming an answer - and a way to put that answer that wouldn't disgust her more than i already have. "Karls, I said you can wait. We don't have to do this now."

"Thirteen," I blurted out.

"Thirteen what?" Taylor asked, a confused look on her face.

"I was thirteen the first time I did this. But I was thinking about it when I was twelve so, I don't know which is the real beginning, but..." I was rambling. "Yeah... thirteen." And I had horrified her. The look on her face said it all.

Her mouth opened and she let out a big breath. One that I suspected she didn't now she had been holding.

A few years came to her eyes then. "Oh my god. Karlie. I'm so sorry. Thirteen!" She really couldn't believe it. And she didn't have to apologise. She had no influence on it and there's nothing she could have done anyway. She did nothing wrong. "Oh, Karls. I..."

She trailed off and wrapped her arms around me again. Before she said anything else, she stood and waved me with her.

I was lead back to the bed where the television was still paused and the M&Ms were still on the bed. she jumped on the bed quickly and moved them down under her side of the bed. She pulled back the covers and sat on the bed, then waited for me to join her before she pulled up the covers.

"Does... does anyone else know?" There was the next question I had expected. It was always, how long, who knows and what can I do.

I just shook my head. "No one at all?!" Taylor seemed more shocked than she was originally. I could guess what she was thinking. For ten years, since she was thirteen, she has been doing this and I am the first one to know?! How does that work?!

I shook my head again. I was getting more ashamed by the minute. I looked down into my lap to hide my embarrassment and the tears that had come back into my eyes.

"Oh, Karls. I'm sorry this happened to you. And I'm sorry that I didn't know before now, or that anyone else did." Taylor choked up a bit and it sounded like she was going to cry to. I finally looked up out of my lap and to her face, and as I had suspected, she had tears in her eyes.

"It's... There's nothing you could do. Don't apologise, nothing is your fault." I shook my head as I spoke. "Tay?"

"Yeah," she said rather enthusiastically, obviously hoping that I was about to tell all and share.

"Tay, I want to tell you everything, trust me, I do. But do you mind if we do it a different way. I thought I would be able to talk about it, but it's harder than I thought."

"Sure Karls. Anything. Whatever is easier for you. What did you have in mind?" She took both my hands in her and rubbed the tops of my hands with her thumbs.

"I was thinking maybe a letter...?"