C L (First Version-Complete)

34: Change Me

Another day passed and I cannot help but think of Queen Eliza. Now that I have the intellect about my identity, I cannot just turn back on this anymore. I must do something to end the fright caused by catastrophes.

But now that I have thought of it; if no ancient existed then there would be no catastrophes but if there were no ancients, would there be a world? Can the world survive without our existence? Okaasan said that we were life itself. If we were to be gone, would life cease in its actuality?

If I was both an ancient and a catastrophe then what do I call myself exactly? I was consisted of two opposing forces that surprisingly bonded well with each other. I assume that my darker side conversed with me during that time when our kingdom's soldiers attacked us. It was the only time when he talked to me. I had two natures within me yet I never had acknowledged my other half that much. It must have hinted that it was his turn to be in the front line.

I furrowed my eyebrows as if to dive further into my thoughts. Ancient souls sealed away my other nature. People had complaints and problems with obliteration because it was something that overpowered the positive side of living. I perceived that no one had much concerns if life bloomed too much because it was the positive piece of sentience. However, the downfall of too much life was greediness. If you place a person inside a room filled with more than enough food and then later on threw him in an area with just the right amount of sources he would naturally crave for more because he got used to 'too' much. This might be the case when the other races had control of us.

I believe that everything in this world had a purpose. Catastrophes were there for a reason. The only beings who had no reason on walking these lands were...those two individuals who possessed so much respect... For themselves. I believe by now the whole world already knew my fondness on the two.

People must come into terms with a possibility of loss as much as they welcome gains. I know that not all people favored life and not all people favored death but one must learn to give and take. There must be balance.

"Are you thinking of what I think you're thinking?" My uncle's voice sounded. I only met him not too long ago even though he lived inside of me for twenty two years. Though when I think of him being in love with my brother, it shambles my mind. I can understand him on what made him fall in love with my oniisan but what I can't understand was why he sacrificed himself for my sake. He could have a fighting chance with Lucius if he still had his physical body.

"I don't know. You tell me. You're the one who can peek inside my thoughts," I answered.

"In order to create balance, you must be able to control both natures. All ancients and all catastrophes must blend as one. We must live in harmony with our opposites," he explained. "It would be a difficult task taming them because they have no fear. They put their desires on top."

I would have to talk to my parents then. Although going back there was a suicide for my sanity, I cannot do this task alone even with the one thousand ancients within me. I must first gather information about them. How will I be able to control catastrophes? I only met one and Lucius sent me away. Lucius said that the reaper had some experience in killing them.

But I do not want to annihilate them. I want to control them in order to work with me. I would say that Wye Fye's intentions with that rock was now my objectives but the only difference was that I won't do this so that I can have creatures worshipping me; I would do this in order to create balance.

"Uncle, how much do you know about the catastrophes?"

The man inside my head hummed and there were multiple whispers going on. "We only know a little. Catastrophes were already much of a problem before the war started. They only have a few number but...the nuisance they cause was already a slap to a sleeping man's balls. Before, we kill them by implanting a sun rune inside of them and then put them under the rain while they are tied down to the soil. This is a much effective and much faster method than just putting them under the sun and wait for rain to water them."