With Or Without Me

~Chapter Fifteen~

"the quirk? The voi-"
"Nevermind.." Izuku muttered. He set the cup down and laid back, staring at his ceiling.
Mitsuki appeared in the door way.
"Are you ok Izuku?"
"Yeah.." he mumbled.
"Will you stay ok?"
Izuku nodded and exhaled.
"Ok.. Katsuki let's go..-"
"What?! No! Did you not just see what happened?! He can't be alone!" He yelled standing quickly. "This is obviously serious!" He growled slamming the cup against the desk.
Izuku glanced at Katsuki.
He cares..?
"It's fine.. you can go home.. I'll just stay asleep.."
Mitsuki nodded agreeing with Izuku. "He's fine. He's calmed down, he's gotten some water in his system. Everything will be fine. Let's go home."

"No-" Katsuki retaliated.
"Katsuki. Now."
Katsuki huffed and stomped out of the room. "Don't do anything stupid Deku!!" He yelled from down the hall.

Izuku sighed as he heard the front door close.

'So this'll be your life now? Laying lazily waiting for time to kill you? You know-'
"Shut up.." Izuku mumbled.
——

The voice never ceases to shut up.. when will it end. Months I've been drained. The most emotion I've felt was when my mom first died and then-
I have a quirk.. I haven't been taking the meds the doctor gave me.. my quir- it flew.. the piece of glass flew- it was..
the vase.. my mothers favorite vase.. I had no control of it- I broke my mothers favorite vase.. because I-

'Because you can't do anything for yourself. You had one job. One job. And it was to take those pills, now you're destroying what's left of your mother. How are you going to kill her and destroy her thing-'

"I didn't kill her.." I mumbled.
I didn't. We've been over this.. It wasn't my fau-
'You're still telling yourself that? She went on that trip to get away from you. She needed a break from the burden. And because of you she left and died. How is it not your fault? It's all your fault.'
I moved my hands to my ears and covered them.
"No.. it's not.."
'It was all you. You killed her.'
"It's not.. it wasn't me.."
'How can you deny it? You know you did it. You know it's your fault for her death. You killed her.'
"Stop it.. I didn't do it.."
'Yes you did! Stop running! You killed her! It's all your fault you're alone! You're a murderer!'
"I did- I didn't mean it!"
'Yes you did! You're selfish! You only think of yourself! You meant to! You don't care about anyone else but you!'
"It wasn't on purpose!.."
'Yes it was! You hated her. You deserve nothing. You killed her.'
"I loved her! She was my mom! I didn't do it! I-I.. I didn't! I didn't! I didn't!"

I press my hands against my ears. Anything to shut it up. Anything to make it quiet.
I press harder as if I'm going to crush my head.

'You can't shut me up you lazy piece of shit! I'm in your head! You're insane! No one will ever believe you.'

"I know! I know! I know! Leave me alone! Go away! Get out!"
'You're stuck with me until you kill yourself. Even then I'll stick to you like a leech.'
The voice laughs at me. I'm being toyed with. I am agonized and bullied. I don't even have to go to school to get bullied..

'You hate me right?-'
"Yes! shut up!"

'Kill yourself. Done. Deal?'
My room which had been spinning all of a sudden stopped. The voice muted.

Kill myself?.. it would all end..
Kacchan never cared before, would he now?
He's spent the last few months babysitting m-
He's going into Yuuei.. he won't have to worry about me if I'm gone.. it'd all work out.. for everyone and myself.

'Don't leave a note if you do it. No one wants to know your last words. So get on with it'

Sounds.. about right.. yeah..
'You gonna do it soon?'
"When I get up.. I don't have the energy right now.."
I muttered staring into the abyss of my ceiling.
'Wow. Too lazy to even kill yourself. You never cease to amaze me.'

"Shhh... just stay quiet.." I sigh.
I'll do it in a couple days.. I know I'll have energy then..

I turn onto my side and stare at the wall. When will I get up again.. who knows..
'Might as well just perish there.'
—
A week and a half passed, Izuku hadn't moved a single inch. He didn't even try to eat, or sleep. He only got up to use the bathroom, but it wasn't often since he never ate.
Not a single being came to visit him.

Not a single burst of energy welled up within him. How was he supposed to end things if he couldn't even manage the energy to stand.
He exhaled again and glanced at his sheet. Dried blood from his coughing fits. He stopped taking his meds, his coughing grew worse. He didn't even know where his meds were. But he knew his time was nearing. Breathing was becoming a task, he barely had the motivation to continue. He's ready to give up his life.

Izuku looking his worst, he heard the front door slam open.
"Deku!"