With Or Without Me

•Chapter Eight•

I felt it as it pierced into my skin. I swiped it feeling my skin open, I opened my eyes as just a little bit of blood began to seep and drip from the cut, it didn't hurt as bad as I thought is was going to, it actually felt nice.

'I told you kid.'

Katsuki continued to pound on the door. I sighed and got up with no actual motivation to do anything. I put the blade in my pocket and unlocked the door opening it. "Stop yelling. I didn't do anything...", I looked down and sighed again. "Just go home Kacchan.. please... you keep p-putting.. putting..", I felt hot tears roll down my freckled cheeks. "Putting me through pain.. I-I'm tired of it.. so please leave..",
Kacchan stares for a second. I glanced up. "No. If you stay here I'll stay here. I'm tired of your dumbass. And-", he grabbed my wrist showing the one cut. "You're unstable. And talking to yourself like a fucking maniac, You need help. Plus if my mom-",
"If your mom finds out that you weren't with me the whole time she'll punish you- is that right?", I mock him glaring daggers at him.
"Deku. You need to stop this. This isn't you- What the hell has been going on with you!! The Deku I know is a pussy who stutters!! Who's to afraid to hold a knife!! What the hell Deku?! What's been going on that I don't know about?!",
"Why does it matter to you!!?", I feel my heart rate increase then I feel it drop. "Why does it matter.. to you?... Nevermind... I-I'll stay with you.. I'm to.. to tired for this.", in seconds I feel all the energy from my body drained. I feel like completely giving up, it's that guys quirk. Wow. He's strong.. Honestly I don't mind being Quirkless anymore, so I don't care if my quirks manifest or not. I really want to hurt not just myself but someone. That's dangerous though I shouldn't. I feel a grip around my wrist as I get dragged out of my house and down the street. I just let him pull me along. I stare aimlessly at the ground- "Uhff!", that's a pole.. I hear Kacchan yell "Watch where you're going nerd!", then he continues to drag me along. I like that pain. I kinda want to feel it again... I have the blade in my pocket.. it'll be ok... No!.. No!! I don't want to feel like this... I don't want to.. but I cant help it... The feeling of hate, anxiety, loneliness, sadness, anger.. I don't know how to deal with this feeling... Its.. it's a bit too consuming...

Kacchan dragged me to his room and threw me against the ground and yelled at me to stay there. I complied and sat there like I was an obedient pet. Truth be told I just feel, utterly exhausted and I don't want to get up, at all. I lay down and stare at the floor. I want to hurt someone... I really do... I shouldn't. No I want to hurt my self...