Temptation 2: Forgiving You ✔️

24: You're not broken

It's been three days. Three days since the party. Damon has been walking me down memory lane for the past few days and helping me get back into my normal routine again. Waking up at the crack of dawn, healthy breakfast which by the way isn't exactly apart of my old "routine" but after being in the hospital I guess he wants me in perfect health. 

He's been really helpful these last few days. I've laughed more than I've cried and so far it's never a dull moment. Sadly, even Damon can't keep the nightmares away. 

-

I wake up screaming. The sheets and the pillow drenched in nothing but my own sweat. Since I've been awake these dreams have been a constant reminder of the accident. The footsteps make their way to my room with every creak in the floorboards. My breath is only a lot more massive as the small pieces of the nightmare come to me. 

"Hey, hey. Breathe, okay?" Damon says coming to my rescue once again, his hands placed on my cheeks as I try to overcome my panic attack. "As we talked about before, look at me. Breathe in, breath out." The more he repeats it, I put his words to action. "There you go." He whispers quietly as I calm down. This is practically our routine. On the first night I came here it was worse but Damon who seems to be my newfound therapist has really been trying to get me through this.

He gently tucks my hair behind my ear while I keep my eyes on him. The two of us holding this gaze onto each other. "Look I'm sorry. I hate you having to wake up these past few nights having to comfort me and stuff." I apologize. He chuckles before lowering his hands. "Please, I've had my fair share of nightmares. Some just as bad as yours, a little worse, so I can't blame you." 

I scoff. "Hopefully you didn't break out in full-on panic attacks and drenched beds." I've witnessed Nathaniel's breakdowns and a little bit worse than that. These dreams only remind me of, him. "Actually I ended up in hospitals."

Oh. 

"Look, my past isn't exactly heartwarming. I mean look at me. Guy covered in tattoos, you already know to group fundamentals of teenage drama and scandals. Dig a little deeper, there's a lot more to me than that." Wow, I've never seen him that way, or ever cared to look beyond what I already knew. I guess I just got tired of knowing the tragedies of everyone's past I started focusing on the greater good. After all, looking beyond what I already knew never put me in a good place. 

"So what are you trying to get me to see the broken side of you?" I ask him. He looks down a bit before shuffling onto the bed. "Every side to me is broken, Leah. I'm just too good at not showing it. I practiced learning how too since I was in middle school, and now here I am." 

I feel bad for him. He spends so much time trying to help everyone else, but no one's helping him. They just think his humor is only him joking when it's probably him trying to hide all the shittiness in his life. Moving closer to him, I grab his hand. "I don't see any of that. Do you know what I do see though?" I ask him, "Enlighten me." He replies. "I see a good guy. A great friend who only spreads the light for the people in his life. A guy who's a complete flirt, and a sarcastic asshole who's a semi, terrible cook." I say. 

"Ouch." 

I laugh softly. "But if it's one thing that I don't see, is anything that's broken. If you don't believe that then, just know that I believe it." I'm not a complete know-it-all, but this is the smallest thing that I'm sure of. I remove my hand from him as he sits in silence, but he swiftly grabs it back, my eyes turn back to his. 

"You know you're not the same person you used to be. You're different, in a good way." Silence hits me, and I'm lost for words. "Goodnight Leah." He rubs my forehand with his thumb before getting up and leaving. 

Seeing how much he believed in me made me think about a similar someone, Nate. When he was down I was usually there to pick him up. Through all of his attacks and his experiences, I was there. It only makes me wonder why I haven't seen him sooner. After all, he was the first person I wanted to see. I push my hair back letting the memories creep into my head. This time they're about him. I guess tomorrow I can convince Damon to help me track him down wherever he is, I doubt it's back at his parent's place. 

- 

The next morning was a lot more refreshing. As terrible as Damon's cooking can be, it wasn't that bad from what I smelled from the kitchen. I tie my hair up into a ponytail before grabbing the small blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders as I make my way out of my room and through the halls of Damon's tiny apart apartment. 

Walking into the kitchen I see him with a towel draped across his shoulder moving to whatever he was listening to with the earbuds plugged into his ears. A small grin shows across my face as I watch him dance while flipping the pancakes, and he immediately stops when he sees me. 

"Whoa--you stalking me?" He asks me as he places the cooked pancake onto the plate, holding it out for me. I chuckle before grabbing the plate from him and taking a seat on the stool that sits at the edge of the counter. "I smelled something decent coming from this kitchen for once and figured I'd come in and see what you were cooking, didn't expect the groovy moves." I tease him just a little. Okay, maybe a lot. "Wanna teach me some of those?" I continue with my jokes.

"Alright, that's enough. Eat the pancakes you could use something in your stomach." He smirks. 

"Actually, I do need to ask a favor from you." I start. His eyebrows lower which only makes me a little bit worried. "Could you maybe help me track down Nate? I know that's asking a lot but, I need to see him." He rubs the side of his head before nodding. "Yeah, yeah sure. We've been in contact for the past few years since your incident but since he knew you were back he's just been MIA." Damon explains to me. 

Hm, I wonder why. Since I've been back I never really knew why he didn't come to see me. Maybe he was nervous? Scared? I'm probably just losing my shit wondering but the sooner I go, the more I know. "Thanks. This means a lot to me." He gives a small smile before turning away. Quickly after eating I went to the bathroom. Took a hot shower, straightened my hair, and even took the liberty of putting on some makeup. 

I was nervous, I guess that's why I'm putting in a lot of effort into this, my appearance. I mean even him, he never cared for the way he dressed given he wore the same thing all the time. A light smile formed on my lips as I thought back to all the times with him. His cockiness, his dark sense of humor, even his smell. Yeah, I miss all of it. 

-