Temptation 2: Forgiving You ✔️

7

NATHANIELS POV

I look up to a startled Leah. I'm shook at the fact that she didn't throw a lamp at my face or something.

"What happened? How'd you get in?" She asks with a altered tone.

I look at her with nothing left to utter.

Man, I'm fucked up. The last thing I remember was arguing with her in the kitchen, and then taking a bunch of pills, and downing a bottle of vodka..

Then I ended up here.

"Nathaniel." She says walking up to me slowly.

I rub my face not able to speak at the moment.

"I uh, I needed to see you." I manage to say.

I've missed her. Ever since that night when we..

Had sex...

I felt closer to her. I needed more of her, and I still do. Then seeing her after all that time in class, and then that party, it just made my life so unbearable at that point.

I just want to be around her, see her. I don't care if she's screaming at me from the top of
her lungs, being in her proximity is all that I need.

She squints at me, and throws her hands in the air like the dramatic square she is. "So you broke into my dorm!" She shouts.

I look up at her as the vein pops out of her forehead, and a grin grows on my face, more comforting than mischievous.

"What!" She shouts. I shake my head, and look down at the floor between my legs.

"Nothing." I say.

"Why are you in my room?" She asks.

"No reason at all."

Because I miss seeing your face, and I'm so fucked up right now I need you more than ever.

"Why are your eyes red? We're you crying?"

I swear she can be so clueless sometimes. I don't cry. Never, especially in front of her.

I turn my head. Forcing myself to look at her. "What do you think, Leah?"

She looks at me in my eyes for a moment, and sighs moving in front of me, bending down.

"What did you do?" She asks looking at me.

What the fuck. For some reason I just want to sob into her leg right now. I don't know if it's because I'm high but I don't get this emotional.

She's changing me.

"I took some pills, had something to drink."

She closes her eyes and sighs.

"How much." She simply says.

I look at her, "What?"

"How much did you take?" She asks.

I furrow my eyebrows trying to think.

"I honestly don't remember. It wasn't much though..." I say slowly.

I feel like a child. I can't even keep my shit together for a week without fucking up. How can I win her if I'm such a screw up? She deserves someone like Christian.

No, fuck that. She deserves me. I may have my temper, and my drug addiction, as well as my alcohol but I could change. I have to. If I don't I'll lose her all over again and maybe even permanently this time.

"Why did you take it? I thought you were quitting?" She asks.

"I don't know.." I say.

She scoffs. "Don't feed me that bullshit. You know exactly why you did it. Just tell me maybe I can help." She says.

I roll my eyes and stand up walking to the door. I forgot how infuriating she can be when she wants to.

"Where are you going?" She says grabbing my arm.

"Home! This was a mistake." I say.

"What? No! You're high on god knows what! I'm not letting you leave."

I laugh to myself.

"I remember when you said you never wanted to see me again, now you want me to stay?"

"I-" She pauses and looks at me before clearing her throat and stepping back. "I was angry, and right now it's not okay for you to drive while you're intoxicated." She says.

Nice one Leah. She confuses me. Does she want anything to do with me at all, or is she only helping me because I'm losing my shits right now. I can't tell.

"No, you've made yourself pretty clear earlier."
She scoffs and moves in front of me. "Is that why you're so angry? Because I snapped at you? That's why?" She repeats.

I sit in my silence, looking at her knowing she's right.

"Nate!" She yells.

"Yes!" I shout back. "Yes that's why I'm like this right now! You have no fucking clue how that made me feel! I could handle you for a moment, but then when you- you said you regretted falling for me..I don't know.."

It's not that I don't know, I just don't want to say it.

"Tell me." She says softly.

"It hurt. It fucking hurt like hell because you are the only one that never gave up on me, and in that moment I felt like I had lost you. Through everything, I was an asshole to you, and you still stayed by my side, then you left." I confess.

She looks at me with her small brown eyes, and turns away.

I look down, knowing she wouldn't accept what I had to say. I know I blew it. Shit I probably chased her away more than I did already.

"I'll go." I say standing up, and she backs more into the door. "No. Please just...stay." She says.

I rub my head and sigh. "Leah this is already bad for both of us! Okay I should've just gone home." I say.

She shakes her head, and places a hand onto my cheek. "Please." She says.

I look at her, wanting to shove her away and walk out of that door, but I can't. Her touch already has given her the largest amount of power over me and the last thing that I want to do now, is leave.

I stare at her for a moment, and look down at her lips, slowly moving my the pad of my thumb along her bottom lip. She glances at me, and then down as my hands trail down her waist.

We're toxic for each other. We argue constantly, but the one thing that I can admit is that I'm crazy about her, and I hope she feels the same about me.

I lean down, and press my lips gently against hers, gripping her waist. Our kisses are hesitant in the moment, but slowly becoming passionate. I've longed for this moment since the moment she left.