Back to you - Hotchniss

coming home

Emily took a deep breath as the elevator stopped, only the closed doors separating her from the place she used to love the most in this world.

They knew that she was coming back, she had talked to JJ and Garcia, and they had told her that they couldn't wait for her to return.

It hadn't been an easy decision back then, she had loved the BAU, but the opportunity that Interpol had given her had just been something she hadn't been able to decline. She didn't regret it at all, the times there had been good times, no doubts. Nevertheless, she had felt slight relief when Clyde had told her that the BAU had sent a new job offer for her.

She should be beyond happy to have her friends back - but there was this one thing she had left back in Quantico two years ago. One person, to be exact.

They really had tried to make a long-distance relationship work, they both had wanted it to work out so badly - but in the end, it had just ruined them.

Emily wondered what his reaction had been when they had informed him about her return, and whether he would be there to welcome her back. No, he wouldn't; she immediately shook her head. He would hide in his office, as usual, and avoid any kind of confrontation.

She also wondered how the others would act; after all, they had all known about their relationship.

The elevator doors opened and Emily quickly raised her head, standing tall, presenting herself as the confident woman she usually was.

Her eyes scanned the bullpen, and as she discovered JJ sitting at her desk, she made her way over to her best friend.

"Some things never change", the brunette grinned and pointed at the Cheetos on JJ's desk.

"Oh my God", the other exclaimed and quickly got up, hugging Emily tighter than she had intended to. "Welcome back!"

"Thanks", Emily smiled, and before she could say anything else, someone else spoke up.

"Woho, Princess is back in town", Morgan cheered and wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey you", the brunette grinned and hugged him back.

Shortly after, Rossi, Reid and Garcia joined them, all welcoming Emily back. It was in that moment that Emily knew that returning to the BAU had been the right choice; this were her friends, her family, her team. She felt like coming home.

In the next few minutes, Emily learned that Kate Callahan had just gone on maternal leave, and luckily, that left her old desk back to her.

After a tons of questions, most of them referring to her cases, English men and Interpol, the situation calmed down a bit. They had just closed case, which left a lot of paperwork to the team, so they soon all headed back to their desks, scribbling down those reports.

The excited feeling faded, and for the first time since Emily had gotten there, she dared to look up to his office. The blinds were closed, and it didn't surprise her. He probably didn't even want to see her coming back.

Their break-up had not been easy at all, for neither of them. Nights filled with many discussions over the phone, many fights and words - which they had regretted shortly after - had led to Emily calling it quits only a few months after she had moved to London, even though this had been the very last thing she had wanted. However, she knew that their relationship had just damaged both of them at that time.

Lowering her gaze, Emily put a few of her personal belongings on her desk and placed her travel bag below it. There was not a lot for her to do yet, and there was nothing she hated more. In London, she had sometimes worked 24 hours a day, ignoring the effects this had had on her health. She had turned into a female version of him, especially since the break-up, and the current lack of work drove her insane. Her work had been the only thing that had kept her too busy to think about her feelings, about him, about them.

"Don't you want to go up there?", JJ suddenly asked silently, nodding into the direction of his office.

"I doubt that he wants to see me", Emily swallowed hardly and chewed on her nails.

"Do you want to see him?"

"What I want doesn't matter."

"That's not true", the blonde shook her head. "Sooner or later you two have to interact with each other; you're part of the same unit again."

"I know", Emily sighed.

Interally, she was fighting the will to run up there and finally see him. It's been nearly two years, after all, but she had hurt him - a lot - just like he had hurt her, and there was no way they could just act like their past had never happened, because it had. And no matter how hard Emily has tried in the past months, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about him.

"And these", JJ pointed at the documents in front of her best friend. "Should be in Hotch's office, shouldn't they?"

Emily clenched her jaw and nodded slightly. He was their Unit Chief after all, and just like she had walked into his office for the very first time many years ago, she should go up there, too, in order to report back to her duty.

"Come on, Emily", JJ sighed. "If you don't talk to him now, it's going to be even weirder when you see each other for the first time again when the whole team's around."

The brunette knew that she was right, however, the fear inside her rose. She wasn't afraid of a lot of things, but her feelings for him had always scared her. It had scared her how deeply she had loved him, and how vulnerable that had made her.

"Here goes nothing", she then mumbled and grabbed the papers, before quickly walking up the stairs to his office.

In front of the door, she hesitated. Her heart was beating quicker than she had expected it to, and the nervousness took over. It would all come back down, as soon as their eyes would lock, that was for sure.

With a shaky hand, she knocked on the door.

"Come in."

His voice caused shivers to run down her spine, as well as a sharp pain to pound in her chest. 'No', she internally told herself. 'No tears. Anything, but tears.'

Swallowing back the tears, she opened the door and soon she learned that she had been right: it all came down in her, as soon as she locked eyes with her ex-fiancé.