Back to you - Hotchniss

we were something

"Hey", Emily stopped in front of JJ's desk, chewing her inner cheek nervously. They had been at the BAU the whole day, spending their time working on files over files. There hadn't been a new case, which meant that they had to do paperwork.

"Hey, are you done?", JJ asked back and Emily nodded.

"Yes, but I was wondering whether you need some help with the organization of the party", the brunette said. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Um, I think Will and I have it all covered, but thanks", the other smiled.

"Okay, if anything changes, let me know", Emily shrugged.

"Like the amount of people who are coming?", JJ raised her eyebrows.

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on", the blonde sighed. "Don't tell me that you didn't want to ask whether Hotch is bringing someone or not."

Emily swallowed thickly, cursing herself internally; she should've known that JJ would notice.

Ever since Emily had told Aaron that they were done, things have gone back to how they had been when she had first returned from London. They didn't talk at all, unless it was about the case, and avoiding the other had become their major task to make it through the day.

She regretted what she had done; but she solaced herself by trying to believe that it had been the right choice - they hadn't worked out once and she didn't want to hurt him again.

Hotch couldn't exactly say that he was coping well neither - he understood her reasons, but his love for her was stronger than ever before, so there was no way he could just shrug it off easily.

"Is he?", Emily's voice was barely a whisper; she was beyond embarrassed.

"He hasn't said anything yet, so as far as I know, he won't bring a date", JJ replied and gave her best friend a sad smile. "You know, I was so sure that something was going on between the two of you, that I actually believed you might come together."

"Definitely not", the brunette let out a sarcastic scoff. The memory of the previous time they had spent together hurt her immensely, though it had just been a few days. These days had been enough for her to finally feel like herself again, and she already missed it.

The day passed without any further incidents; all of them were completely occupied with their paperwork. It was around 7 pm as the first ones left, and about an hour later, Emily also packed her bag and stepped in front of the elevator.

She already felt that he was walking closer to her without seeing him, and as he stopped next to her, probably also waiting for the elevator, she swallowed thickly. Lowering her gaze to the ground, she tried to keep it cool.

The air between them seemed to be freezing cold, and it felt like the elevator took ages to finally come to their floor. As it finally did so, they quickly rushed in, hoping for a way to escape the situation - too bad that they both wanted to head out.

After the door had closed, deadly silence surrounded them and Emily could even listen to his breath.

Suddenly, Hotch cleared his throat: "You alright?"

"Um, yes, sure", she quickly replied, caught completely off guard. "You?"

"Sure", he replied, his eyes still glued to the closed door in front of them.

"I know we haven't talked a lot ever since...", Emily then sighed. "But can we at least try?"

"Try to do what?"

"To avoid this awful thing we're doing at the moment", she turned her head to look at him. "Aren't we too old for this?"

"We're too old for a lot of things, aren't we?", he asked back and a small chuckle escaped her lips.

The rest of the elevator ride was filled with silence again, until Emily spoke up again as they headed to their cars.

"Are you going to bring someone to the New Year's Eve party?"

She had actually promised herself to avoid asking him, but she just needed to know in order to mentally prepare herself in case he did. To be honest, Emily herself had tried to find a date in the past few days, but there was just no one she was close enough with to bring them as a date. Eventually, she had given up, once again realizing how empty her life had become after Aaron had disappeared from it.

"I don't know yet", he replied, surprised that she would ask him. "I thought about doing so. What about you?"

"I don't know yet, neither", she just nodded, letting her gaze drop to the ground so he wouldn't see the pain written all over it.

"So, see you tomorrow?", Hotch then asked and after she had waved goodbye, he watched her walking over to her car in a quick pace.

Letting out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, he unlocked his car as well. After JJ had told him that he could bring a date to her party, he hadn't thought about doing so at first. However, when he had realized that there was a chance that Emily would bring someone, he had wondered if it would be for the better if he brought someone, too. It was an idiotic move, but to put in bluntly; when it came to love, Emily Prentiss and Aaron Hotchner were probably the biggest idiots ever.

The week passed quicker than they had wished, and New Year's Eve came around within the matter of a second. At least, Emily felt like it had. She hadn't managed to find a date, and she had figured that it was probably the best decision to go solo. This night wasn't for any useless dates, it was for a fun time with her closest friends and for a lot of drinking - and not even her broken heart would ruin that for her.

"You didn't bring anyone", Emily said as she stepped next to Aaron, both of them holding a glass of wine. It was the first time they talked that evening, and it was also the first time they found themselves alone in the backyard, since the others were inside.

"You sound surprised", he replied and turned his head to look at her. She was wearing a black dress, which hugged her curves just perfectly and had made his heart skip a beat the second she had walked into the room.

"I am", she stated truthfully.

"Come on, did you really think I would find someone that quickly?", he asked, and if there hadn't been this amusement in his voice, that question would have led to awkward tension, but surprisingly, it made Emily smile.

"No", she shook her head, trying to hide that she was actually glad that he hadn't. Lifting her head, she saw how he stared at the dark sky, obviously thinking.

"What is it?", she asked, wondering what was on his mind.

"I was just thinking about -", he said in a silent voice, but stopped again. "This is the first time that we're..." He trailed off, not sure whether it was the best idea to come up with that topic in that moment.

"Celebrating New Year's Eve together", she finished his sentence and let out a small sigh. "I know."

Both of them kept staring at the sky, reminiscing in memories - bad and good ones.

"I know that I messed up a lot", Emily then whispered. "And I don't expect you to understand me or my actions - but I am glad that we can celebrate the new year together again."

"You are?", he turned his head to her, but she kept her eyes fixed on the stars.

"Yes", she smiled. "It's close to midnight, and I am glad you're standing here."