Back to you - Hotchniss

happy new year

Hotch watched Emily with slight amusement written over his face. He leaned against the kitchen island with now a beer in his hand, following the game she was playing with JJ and Penelope from a safe distance. She was far from being sober, which had made her losen up a lot, and he found that adorable. He knew that he should probably stop watching her, but he couldn't help it.

"Seeing something you like?", Derek grinned as he leaned next to him against the counter, taking a sip from his beer.

He just shot him a deadly glare, remaining completely silent.

"Hey, I don't blame you", the other chuckled.

Again, Hotch shot him a glare, but now probably more out of jealousy. He had always disliked how flirty Morgan had been towards Emily, even though it had always been on a strictly friendly basis.

"It's not like that", he then said.

"Like what?", Morgan raised his eyebrows.

Before Hotch could reply, they were interrupted by Penelope, who had turned around and frantically waved at her best friend: "Hey, hot stuff, get over here! You're involved in a dare!"

"That's my call", he grinned and walked over to the women, leaving Hotch alone at the counter. Hotch let out a scoff, though he was more than glad that their conversation was over. He had no idea what he should've said; as so often, he was out of words when it came to Emily.

They were on a good basis, he knew, they had managed to get here. The first few days after they had ended whatever they had been doing had been rather hard, but now they seemed to be on a peaceful basis.

It was the truth, they seemed to finally make peace with their past. However, there was always one thing that was missing, and they both felt it. It was obvious that they belonged together, but Emily kept fighting relentlessly against her feelings, and Hotch was trying to convince himself to let her go; both were just too scared to end up in the same, deadly flames again.

The Christmas holidays had been rather tough for them, as well. Both of them had spent them with their family - Emily with her parents and Hotch with his brother and his family - but just as in the previous two years after the break-up, it had reminded them of how much they missed the other. They would never let each other know, though.

"We need to get outside!", Henry suddenly yelled. "It's almost mid-night!"

"Well, then let's see who's outside first", Reid smiled and made a race with Henry and Michael into the backyard.

Quickly, all of them gathered outside, where Will and his sons had already set up some fireworks.

Hotch decided to stay a few feet away, as he wasn't very fond of lighting up the firework, probably because he found that it was just environmental pollution. He would leave that to the ones who loved fireworks, including Will, Morgan and Garcia.

Emily recognized that he was watching from a slight distance, so she decided to join him.

"You okay?", she asked as she moved next to him, wrapping her arms around herself, shivering slightly.

"Sure", he nodded. "Are you cold?"

"It's fine", she gave him a thankful smile.

Before he could offer her his jacket, the others started the countdown, starting by ten. Hotch couldn't believe that the year was already coming to an end, especially whereas so much had changed for him in the previous months.

"3...2...1...Happy New Year!"

In the blink of a second, loud firework cracked up above them, coloring the sky in beautiful, glittery colors. Emily watched the spectacle with wide eyes, and as she turned around to wish Hotch a happy new year, she only recognized that he had went inside, covering his ears with his hands. Quickly, she followed him.

"Hey, are you okay?", she asked, and as she understood what was going on, she covered his hands with her own, like she had always done it.

It was a rare occasion that he had problems with his ears again, but ever since he had been involved in an explosion in New York a few years ago, the ringing in his ears returned from time to time - mostly in connection to loud events, like a huge firework.

"Come on, sit down", she said, yet she was aware of the fact that he was probably not able to hear her, so she motioned him to sit on the couch, before hurrying over to the backyard door and closing it.

"Pills", Hotch then croaked. "In my jacket."

"You have consumed alcohol, you cannot take any medicine", Emily replied as she knelt down in front of him, giving a worried look. "Do you want to drive to the hospital?"

Just as she expected, he immediately shook his head 'no'.

"Just give me a second", he croaked again, and she quickly nodded, softly running her left hand up and down his thigh, in a comforting - and not arousing - way.

They had often been in situations like this, and usually his pills would help him rather quickly. However, Emily did not want him to take medicine in combination with alcohol, though it really pained her to see him like this.

The others outside were completely washed off her mind, it was now completing spinning around Aaron. She watched him with worried eyes, hoping for a sign of improvement.

As the door to the backyard opened, Emily quickly turned her head.

"Is everything alright?", JJ asked, a confused look written over her face as she discovered the two of them in the living room.

"His ears", the brunette just said and JJ immediately understood.

"Let me know if he needs something", she said before leaving the two alone again.

A few minutes passed, until Hotch finally loosened his hands around his ears and the pained look on his face slowly softened.

"Better?", Emily carefully whispered after another minute had passed.

"Yes", he also whispered, finally opening his eyes again.

"I'll get you a water, wait", she then said and quickly got up before he could protest.

"Thank you", he sighed as she handed him the glass, thankfully taking a sip. Emily then sat down next to him, running one hand in his hair. It was a habit, she did it out of instinct, because she had always done so when the ringing had started again.

"Shitty way to start this year, huh?", she gave him a sad smile.

Immediately, his facials expressions dropped. Oh God, it was New Year's Eve - and he had ruined it for her.

"I'm sorry", he sighed, his voice dripping from embarrassment.

"Why?"

"I ruined the party for you."

"Oh, shut it", Emily hit his shoulder playfully. "You didn't. It's fine."

It wasn't, he thought, but he was too worn out to object. Her hand wandered from his hair to rest on his shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"Happy New Year, Aaron."

"Happy New Year, Em."