Back to you - Hotchniss

how fast the night changes

"Fuck", Emily exclaimed and startled up. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"

"That's an unusual amount of the word 'fuck' in the morning", Hotch mumbled next to her, his eyes still closed.

"Get up!", she hissed and smacked him violently against his bare chest. "It's almost 6:50!"

"What?", immediately, his eyes shot open as well.

"We've overslept", she said and rushed through the room, picking up her clothes and putting them on in the matter of a second. "We have to get going at 7 and I haven't even showered yet!"

Hotch was too stunned to say anything, but as she moved towards the door, he finally managed to speak up: "Emily, wait -"

"We'll talk later, okay?", she quickly interrupted him, and with that, she was gone.

His eyes were glued to the door she had just closed in front of him, trying to progress what had happened since the previous night. He remembered how she had shown up at his door; how she had kissed him; and how they had shown each other how much they had missed the other all night long.

He still couldn't believe that it had actually happened, and the insecurities and question he had shut out a few hours ago started to catch up with him. Why had she come over to his room? Had it just been for sex? Had it been more than that?

It wasn't usual for him to feel uncertain about situations, but there he was, wondering how he truly felt about the whole incident - until he realized why Emily had left so urgently.

"Fuck", he mumbled as he remembered that is was already 6:50 and quickly left his bed.

It was exactly 7:01 am when he joined the team in the lobby, and he was relieved to see that none of his agents were giving him suspicious looks.

"Is everyone here yet?", he quickly asked.

"Prentiss is -", Morgan began, but he was interrupted by the brunette rushing into the lobby: "Here! Sorry, I forgot about time."

"Your hair is still wet", Morgan commented.

"Yes, Derek, as I said", she replied in a stern tone. "I forgot about time."

"Let's just get going", Hotch intervened and they all lifted their travel bags. It didn't go unnoticed by him that Emily was trying not to meet his eyes, making him question the events of the previous night even more.

The truth was that Emily had been rather glad to see that they had overslept, as it had given her the perfect excuse to quickly leave his room and to think about everything before the awkward talking would have started.

She had no idea what had gotten into her the previous night, how she had gathered that much confidence and just walked over to his room. There wasn't a single feeling of regret - it had been by far the best night ever since their break-up, but she was fearing its consequences. Had she taken a step too far? What had it meant to him? And what would it mean for their future?

Communication was the key - but neither of them knew how to talk about it; neither of them would ever be completely honest if they talked as no one wanted to be the first to admit that they were hoping for more than just sex. Emily hadn't even admitted the last part to herself, and Hotch hadn't, as well.

The flight back passed smoothly - Hotch had engaged in small conversations with Rossi, whereas Emily had played poker with Reid.

"Will and I were thinking of throwing a small New-Years-party", JJ suddenly spoke up, and all heads turned into her direction. "And you're all invited!"

It hit Emily like brick as she realized that the year would end in two weeks; God, where did the time go?

She had spent the last two New Year's Eves in London, the first with Aaron on FaceTime, though they had been living in different time zones. The second New Year's Eve in London had been the most depressing she had ever experienced, as she had been completely alone with a glass of wine on her balcony, watching the fireworks and missing her ex-fiancé terribly.

Hotch's last New Year's Eve had been lonely, as well; even though he had spent if with his brother and his family, he had found himself rather distracted by the thought of Emily.

Long story short: this was the first New Year's Eve they would spend together again, even if it was only on JJ's party, and neither of them knew how to feel about that.

After the team had landed in Quantico and headed back to the BAU, they made quick work of the reports before heading home. Just as Emily had climbed into her car - after successfully avoiding Hotch in every situation - she received text from him, saying: Can I come over to your place later?

Emily inhaled sharply, but replied Sure. She was still nervous about what he was going to say, and how he felt about the whole situation; a part of her even wished that they would never talk about it at all and just live with the happy memory of this perfect night. But that was far from reality, obviously.

It was about an hour later as Hotch found himself in front the door to Emily's apartment, still wearing his suit and tie as he had immediately headed from work to her place. He had been there only once, and he had never even seen her apartment from the inside. Before ringing the bell, he tried to come up with things he could say, but as he had honestly no idea what to say, he just rang, hoping that the matter would solve itself. And it did.

"Hey", he said after she had opened the door. "I -" He couldn't talk any further, because she had taken a hold of his tie and pulled him forwards, chest against chest, crashing her lips on his. Immediately, he kissed her back and his hands started to roam her body, while he kicked the door shut behind them.

"Emily -", he then spoke up again, as he was trying to catch his breath.

"Don't talk", she just whispered and kissed him again before her hands started to push his jacket over his shoulders. Without a second thought, he obeyed and kissed her back just as hungrily before lifting her up.

Emily knew that it was wrong to avoid the talk like that, and she couldn't run from it forever - but she had figured that she could at least postpone it and Hotch obviously didn't seem to mind.