The houses as things I do for my friends

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Gryffindor: Speak to them loudly in French so they can avoid people, make them feel better about their horrible flirting skills, offer to be their second in a fight, hold and massage their hand when they feel nervous, redo their lipstick when they're gonna see their crush, send them wholesome memes.

Ravenclaw: Check the zodiac compatability for their crushes, listen to their weird dreams and try to interrupt them, write bad meme-filled fanfiction when they've had a bad day, do intricate nail designs, research anything they tell me they are a fan of, lend them films so they can enjoy them, too.

Hufflepuff: Bring in cookies on my birthday so they can have treats, too, sing their favourite songs when they're sad, send them pictures of pretty flowers, motivate them to do their goddamn homework, draw cartoons of them on their birthday cards, play with their hair when they need a nap, be the sensible, sober friend.

Slytherin: Sit on their lap to give them perfect eyeliner, write comebacks to rude messages, hype them up before they speak to their crushes, lend them my hats to spice up their outfits, give them honest advice when they've made bad choices, try to help them achieve their goals.

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