love means

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love means waiting
an inordinate amount of waiting, it seems
when we first started talking I didn't wait at all --
he did
and I thought it was sweet that he had a crush on me
I smiled when he asked for photos or watched from across the room
how cute, I used to think!

But playful amusement slowly turned into ceaseless cravings
and we waited for each other
to make the first move
a discreet photo, or an unspoken innuendo
our bodies yearning for our minds to stop stalling
to finally succumb
temptation born out of an overwhelming desire

From then on we stood closer, sat nearer
pulled by an invisible magnetic force
the constant velocity of our attraction hurried
all leading up to a moment
that was long overdue
and when he first touched me that day
my breath stopped.

That was the start of something which spun out of control
and I waited for him to touch me again
not knowing that guilt turned to shame turned to agony
the forces of nature
now repelling our energy until it crashed
and I was left weeping
lamenting over halcyon days

But we were two souls who were destined to join
so I waited for him to return
and on a hot summer day, out of the blue
his cloud lifted
those agonizing weeks dissolving like springtime snow
And he consumed me
Reducing me to a fragile fractal

With a ravishing intensity, we began a momentum
of impulsive kisses and impassioned embraces
though he pushes and pulls with an indecisive intention
our fate was sealed the moment we met
my days are long with longing but I see nothing but him
certain his love is imminent
and so....I wait.

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Written as an entry for the #SaintVals2021 contest

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