A Year Without Snow

-44-

Friday, 26th January 2017

I got in Bianca's car, as she was starting the engine she turned to me and said, "Claudia lives nearby I went to take her home."

She left the parking lot, and continued, "And what is my surprise when I come back and see my brother in an enormous argument with Grace." She doesn't look at me but I can see something is bothering her as her fingers tap furiously on the steering wheel, "Grace, who has been your friends for years." She stated in a voice matter of fact. "Of course, I went over to them and asked what was going on. And then I realize she was jealous of something, and now I'm confused, why is Grace the friend jealous," She said emphasizing 'friend', "And then I found out they're dating. And then I felt like ripping my own brother's head off." She said as we entered our street, and of course, I agreed with everything she was saying but I didn't want to be responsible for a siblings' fallout.

"Look, it's okay. I've come to terms with it."

She parked the car by her house and finally looked at me. "No Daisy, it isn't. Look I get you guys broke up because something happened. I don't care what it was, couples break up. Even if with the two of you was different. But what he's doing. It's unthinkable... I never thought he would do this to you, dating your friend. And being even shittier to her, 'cause God knows he must have zero feelings for her-"

"He must feel something for her."

"Daisy, my brother has been obsessed with you since he was six years old. And when I asked him, he had the nerve to defend himself with 'We've always been friends', honey I was friends Mary from the grocery store and you didn't see me licking her pussy."

"Bianca!" I said laughing a bit.

"Well, it's true. Anyway," She said taking a pause. "I know he is hurt. I remember when you guys broke up, I had just met Claudia and I was on cloud 9, and then I come home to find him... crying." She said as she took a pack of cigarettes out of her bag and lit one up, "It was so weird because I'd never seen him cry, not even when my father left. And God knows the man fucked him up. Well both of us, actually." She explained, and I couldn't help but feel my heart tightening at the thought. Of course, I had probably cried half as much as he did, but even so. "He's more sentimental than he let's show, even though he didn't talk to me."

"He hasn't told you anything?" I asked feeling astonished.

"Not to me or my Mom." She explained while shaking her head, "But I can see he's reaching a breaking point. I mean just now he had a rant about how awful he's feeling."

Now I'm the one to rest my head on my hands as I think about what she's telling me. I felt sad and overwhelmed. And I turned back again to thinking about the whole event and how it might have hurt him too. But even so, I couldn't wrap my head around his sadness when so much of my anger washed over me. He could be sad all he wanted if have chosen to believe me, he wouldn't have gone through so much. I wouldn't have gone through so much.

"I understand he feels awful, Bianca. And if he didn't tell you the whole story I don't feel like I should either. But believe me when I say I went through so much more, and I didn't have him. And more people who I thought I could trust."

"I get it." She said as she took another cigarette pack out of her bag and lighted it up. "And I figured it had something to do with some of your friends 'cause they came right over. Oh- It all makes sense now! It had something to do with Grace-"

"Wait," I said turning to her as I tried to stop the smoke from coming to my face, "Who came over?"

"Well after the whole break up and crying thing, Grace and that all goth friend of yours... eh... Jack." She said seeming to be proud of herself for remembering the name.