A Year Without Snow

-49-

Friday, 3th March 2017

I turned around in my bed for what felt like the hundredth time that night. Darkness fell around me, reminding me that we were still deep into the night and that my alarm clock was hours away from going off. I looked at my phone to read 3:56 on the screen and just below the date 3th March 2017.

I took a deep breath to remind myself it was just a day like any other, that nobody would know the difference other than me. And most importantly, I assured myself that he wouldn't remember. Which I knew wasn't true, but I was sticking to wishful thinking. The truth was that he remembered last year, he had come to me and reminded me of everything that had happened the previous year, along with a confession of his undying love. Just a memory of it threatened the pizza I had for dinner to come up and see the light of the night.

I hastily turned around on the bed, forcing myself to stop that train of thought. But they kept coming and I kept fearing his appearance. Surely, after everything that happened last July, he wouldn't have the nerve to come to my school. Because he, sure enough, wouldn't catch me anywhere else, since I had made plans to come straight home after the last class of the day.

After hours of numbness sleep and agitated turning, I woke up thirty minutes before my alarm went off, and seeing that I wouldn't be able to get any more sleep I reluctantly got up and went to get ready. And while choosing what to wear I had to ponder my options. For the last year, my clothes had consisted of grey tones and a depressive style, the more unnoticed I was the better. But for the last months, it had changed, I had regained somewhat of my previous confidence and had started to wear dresses again and dress like I previously had. But today, I was rethinking it all over again. Today I wanted to blend in again. But ended up sticking to myself and put on some mom jeans and a blouse.

Because I had thirty minutes before I had to leave, I put on a random episode of a sitcom and try with all my might to focus on the plot.  But I couldn't. He was there in my mind haunting me. Luring, hunting my sanity. He's there on Zeus' more than a month ago, is in primary school as a little boy, is in sophomore year holding my hand as I cringe, he's in Barrinel guiding me through the darkness.

I shook my head, trying to get my worries to flow away, and quickly stood up unable to stay still.

I put a coat on and grabbed my books and was out of the doorway sooner than needed. I immediately called Scar but it went to voicemail. She must still be asleep, I thought. I called Dallas next but got the same response. I thought of calling Lucas but I didn't want to bother him with this yet. I didn't want to spend one second of the day alone.

But after realizing I had no one else to call I accepted my defeat and made my way to my car while thinking, this was it. I was going to arrive at school all alone and he would conner me and- oh, God.

But after taking a few deep breaths I arrived at school. Nervous as I was I realized a couple of people were arriving, with cars parking and lazy teens getting out, and with nowhere to go, I
decided to sit on one of the outside benches, where people could see me if my life was threatened, even if that meant freezing out on this March cold air.

But just as I was sitting down a voice sounded from behind me.

"What are you doing here?"

Hearing this I quickly jumped from the bench a walked a few steps before turning around.

Bryson was standing there in the midst of the winter air, with his hands deep in his jeans' pocket and his hoodie collar pushed up his chin.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Yes, you heard right, that's what I asked." He said in a dry tone.

I rolled my eyes and proceeded to sit down.