(FEATURED)
It's been months since the unceremonious fall of Kimie Sato's older sister. The whole of Ridgerock High knows it, and by now, the majority have moved on. But Kimie still watches those who had a hand in it continue to walk free, and the mo...
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It was now that I knew how big of an idiot (and a loner) I really was. Alone in the library, staring into my laptop minutes after I'd pulled down another kingdom, my phone clutched tightly in my hand, my eyes burning for some reason. That was the life I was living now.
I'd never thought too much about it, but now that it had happened, I realized how much I'd come to depend on West and his presence. And boy, I missed my independence. I missed relying on myself. I missed creating chaos on my own. I missed my anonymous life, when I could walk through the hallways with the assurance that no one was staring at me or whispering things that concerned me to their friends.
But even though I missed it, I also missed him. When I was anonymous, West didn't care about what I said, barely looking at me during animation meetings, but now we'd gotten to a point where I could hurt his feelings and he'd care, where he could ignore my calls and texts and I'd care, where I could feel incomplete because the chair across from me in the library was empty, even though I had quite a few things to be happy about.
I wanted to die. I was terrified and sad and wanted to temporarily die. I knew I'd ruined things. The little voice in my head that never allowed me to live peacefully when I did something wrong was right there reminding me.
My phone jolted me out of my thoughts, almost causing me to fall out of my chair, and when I looked into the screen and saw my sister's face, my stomach knotted. I didn't have the strength to deal with the weight of the conversation she wanted to have, content with rotting in guilt, but I couldn't ignore her forever. No matter what she did or said to me, she was my sister, the driving force of my mission.
So, getting up to my feet, I walked to the bookshelf behind me and stood behind it so the librarian wouldn't catch me making a call if she walked by. I was well aware of the 'no phonecalls' rule.
I leaned against the shelf, ignoring the dust, then picked up the call. "Hey," I forced out, my voice quiet.
"Before you say anything," Kairi said on the other end, "or get mad at me, I just want to let you know that I love you so, so much, Kim. I love you with all of my heart and I'd never do or say anything to deliberately hurt you."
"But it was deliberate." My voice cracked and my knees went weak immediately I spoke. "I know it, and so do you."
"It wasn't," she defended with tears in her voice. "I was just mad and you were saying all these things I couldn't handle. I didn't realize when it was out of my mouth, Kimie, I swear."
I drew in a breath, weaker than I thought I'd be. "You must've been thinking about it, because I'm pretty sure you wouldn't say something like that if it wasn't on your mind."
"I'm sorry." She was crying now, bringing tears to my eyes. "I was being so cruel about the whole thing, and I wish I could take it back."
I lowered myself so I was sitting on the floor, shutting my eyes for a moment and willing my tears to stay in. If I started crying now, I wouldn't be able to stop.
