06. Big Crush on You

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School was getting crazier and crazier, and Tuesday's level of crazy could give the craziness of Piper's murder a run for its money

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School was getting crazier and crazier, and Tuesday's level of crazy could give the craziness of Piper's murder a run for its money.

There was commotion all morning as school authority tried to get to the bottom of Axel's cheating. I don't know how they found out, but it seemed like that kind of news traveled fast. Smooches was now trending among Ridgerock's students, and probably beyond them.

Despite all of that, I was invisible. I walked through the hallways between classes without a glance sent my way. Everyone was too busy trying to find out what the progression was, meeting up with their friends and that kid from class that always seemed to know the latest gossip.

It wasn't until the period before lunch that I saw him. His arrival drew the attention of students swapping their books at their lockers, and the whispers circulated quickly—a domino effect. Axel was being followed by some officials as he went in the direction of the principal's office, and I could see the pain on his face.

Unlike Macy, he kept his eyes trained on the floor as he walked, his hands balled into fists at his sides, his jaw clenched.

I knew I was the one that did that to him, but that didn't stop me from feeling sympathetic towards him. I almost even felt regretful, like I should never have posted that blog update about him. When he walked past me, I felt like I was hit with a rock, and I took a subconscious step back, as if it would protect me from the guilt coming at me with full force.

He was heading to the principal's office, with officials behind him, and that could only mean one thing.

After a few seconds, the basketball coach appeared, following behind them in a slow run. Panic was visible on his face, and as he moved past me, I heard him panting.

That moment played in my head over and over, even until lunchtime when I was sitting in the back of the library, going over everything I had typed under Axel's name on my laptop.

Get the steroids, number one said. When I had typed that, it seemed perfect, but now I just felt bad—bad for Axel. I wondered if he was still in school, if he had been suspended, or worse, expelled. I felt like I could pull my hairs out at the way I was feeling. I had to remind myself that this was what I wanted, before I could calm down a little bit.

It's the same thing they did to her. He deserves it, a voice in me kept repeating, but it was only half-convincing.

Minutes flew by, and I was still sitting there, surrounded by old dusty books, having an internal conflict. The words on my laptop's screen were swimming in front of my eyes, coming into focus once in a few seconds, and I felt weak and curious at the same time, wanting to go to the cafeteria, or quad, just so I could hear the gossip. Where was he? How was he?

"You've got to be kidding me." The voice startled me, and I almost flew out of my chair before realizing the incriminating evidence on my laptop.

My heart hit hard against my ribcage as I slammed it shut and turned to the boy by the shelf a few feet behind me, a book in his hand, his lips parted slightly in shock. I didn't miss the way his eyes kept darting between me and the laptop.

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