42. Tears in My Eyes

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My lips were parting, trying to produce the words blocking my throat, but nothing came out of my mouth

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My lips were parting, trying to produce the words blocking my throat, but nothing came out of my mouth. There were a lot of sentences forming in my brain, but I didn't know which one to say first. Was I supposed to defend myself, or was I supposed to tell the it's-not-what-you-think lie?

"Tybalt," I heard from my mouth before I realized I was talking. His name slipped out of my mouth the way it always did—easily, smoothly—and it was almost like my lips were trying to deceive me into thinking that everything was fine. "Tybalt, how did you get this?"

Fury filled his eyes—fury that almost matched the one I saw in West's eyes the other day. "That's what's most important right now, isn't it? How I got it. Not what you're doing in it."

"This—this isn't—"

"Let me help you out," he cut in, probably tired of listening to me struggle to speak. "How long has that been going on? Before or after I came in?"

I could see hurt beneath the anger, and I felt compelled to protect his heart from the pain. But that would mean lying to him—again. That was what brought us here. I stared at Tybalt, feeling the sting of tears, unable to tell him the truth, unable to lie.

He laughed when I didn't respond, but it lacked humor. "I don't even know why I'm mad at you. I should be mad at myself for even thinking a girl like you would—" He paused, and my chest clenched when I saw him discreetly wipe tears from his eyes with his thumb.

"I'm sorry," I finally said. "I'm so sorry. I was just so confused and I didn't want to hurt your feelings again after I stood you up. I'm sorry, Tybalt."

We sat there in silence for a while, tears slipping out of our eyes, not sure what to say to explain what was happening right now. The feeling was too familiar.

"Were you going to tell me, or were you planning on leading me on?"

I shut my eyes for a moment. "I don't know, Ty," I whispered, looking away from him, and in my peripheral vision, I saw him nod before he reached for his phone and started the car. I quickly turned to him with wide eyes, grabbing his hand and pulling it away from the key.

"Tybalt, please. I know I've really hurt you, I do. But please, just talk to me. I want to make it up to you, anyway I can."

"You're joking, right?" he asked, pulling his hand away from mine like it hurt. "You're joking. I don't even think I know you anymore. The sweet Kimie Sato I used to see is now gone and I can't recognize this person in front of me. You lead me on, Kim. You lied to me, gave me hope. And now you wanna make it up to me. You're seriously joking."

The engine was still running, and I didn't need someone to tell me that Tybalt wanted me out of his car. I knew what he wanted, but I still stayed.

"I don't want you to leave like this," I begged, my voice soft.

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