Wasted Times [LIP GALLAGHER]

t h i r t y n i n e

"Are you going to tell me what's up or do I just keep driving?" Seb asked glancing at me briefly.

"Not that important, do you uh.. do you have any of those pills you were selling at the bakery the other night?" Seb pulled over now turning the engine off.

"Look I don't know if that's the best-" Seb reasoned but I cut him off.

"If you're not going to give them to me then I'll just go somewhere else." I snapped not knowing what was coming over me.

"Fine, just wait. I'm only giving you three for now, you might crash after these because it's your first time." Seb agreed pulling a small packet out of his pocket with three little pills.

"Crash?" I questioned taking the packet from him.

"When the effect wears off, you could get jumpy as fuck." Seb pointed out glancing down at the packet he'd given me.

"Take me home." I spoke and Seb simply nodded before turning the van around and heading back towards my street.

It was quiet between us the whole way back, I didn't tell him about Lip and he didn't try to ask what happened anymore. I unclipped the seat belt as he pulled up outside my house, I opened the door to step out but he caught my wrist before I could leave.

"Promise me you'll be careful with those pills." Seb stated seriously, his eyes locked on mine.

"Yeah I will, relax. I'll see later." I shot back pulling my wrist from his grip, I climbed the steps of the porch and patted my pockets for my key.

"Shit." I mumbled under my breath thinking that maybe I'd left it inside.

I decided to try and open the door, it wasn't locked which was unusual for grandma. I slipped inside nevertheless careful not to make much noise, I picked up the key from the dish by the door and locked it. I walked upstairs cringing when the wood creaked beneath my feet, I stopped still to listen for any movement but couldn't hear anything.

I walked into my room and pulled the hat off tossing it across the room, I ran a hand through my hair and pulled the packet out of my pocket staring down at the three little pills. I opened the seal and took one of the pills out, I held it between my fingers before bringing it up to my lips and swallowing it.

I put the packet in a book in my nightstand and pulled out a half empty bottle of vodka, I screwed the cap open and took a gulp welcoming the burning sensation through my throat. I waited feeling no different so I kept drinking the vodka until I felt a little tipsy, it was around forty minutes later when I first felt it. My fingers felt lighter, it was almost as if I weighed nothing. I looked around the room my vision was blurry and I struggled to contain the sudden bursts of laughter.

I laid back on my bed and stared at the ceiling lifting my hands up and waving them through the air. I could smell the crisp, cold breeze blowing in through my window. I felt like I was on cloud nine, I felt like I could do anything. I stood up and climbed out through my window onto the flat roof which was covered in snow, I laid down spreading my arms and legs out. I giggled and took another gulp of vodka, I burst out laughing when the bottle spilled slightly. I placed it standing near my head and moved my arms and legs back and forward to make a snow angel, the crunch of the soft snow filled my ears. It felt amazing, I felt happy and it took the earlier hurt I had been experiencing away.

I gather some snow in my hands and threw it off the roof, I stumbled gripping the vodka in my hand before crouching down to get back into my room. The rush was my favourite part, I felt like I could climb a mountain if someone asked me to. I stood up on my bed soaking the covers with my wet shoes, I jumped up before falling flat on my face. The bottle smashed next to me and I laughed again finding it hilarious.