Drowning in Love [hajeongwoo]

Chapter Thirty-three

Chapter Thirty-three

I froze on my position as Doyoung's heavy sighs filled the air, a smile lingered across his face as his eyes twinkled with the tears started streaming down.

I can feel like he finally breathed. For so long, I just know he's been refraining himself so much.

"I know I can never be him. But I just wanted to hear... have you ever considered me, Jeongwoo?" he swallowed as his adams apple moved upward and downward. I stared right through his eyes as I can feel the lump stuck in my throat.

I bowed down my head as I started to feel uneasy. My tongue got twisted but I gave him a nod as I bit my lip, unable to catch his stares for awhile.

Regrets rushed in, it filled his eyes. Doyoung is that readable. I felt bad. Why is Doyoung asking me these...

"Dobby..." I uttered, sad and regretful. The night sky is filled of stars, but my heart sank as I am watching the stars in Doyoung's eyes getting dimmed and lonely. He is my dear friend... and maybe right now I understood my fear, his fear, that when he finally had the guts to face his feelings, we might break each other's hearts.

Because right now... my romantic feelings for him already ended, already way too long ago.

I saw his hand trembled but he was able to pull me with his left hand, embracing me warmly, I was stunned and taken aback, but I felt the hot liquid streaming down my cheeks. He's no longer questioning me.

I'm not forgetting the fact that Doyoung was there for me. I'm grateful. I catched feelings. But we were not for each other, I'm not going to be the person he deserves, as this heart longs for someone I do really love.

"I'm sorry." I said under my breath. My chest squeezed, as I felt his hand patting my back. "No. Thank you, Jeongwoo."

His warm hands embraced me, as the cold breeze blew, I know I'm shattering someone's heart right in front of my eyes.

Doyoung drifted away from me as he flashed me a smile, enhaling as he tried to shake his head reassuring me that he's fine. "Let's go, it's getting dark and cold here." but I saw the glimpse of tears and pain in his eyes as his back faced me.

I walked behind him, letting my footsteps stuck on the sand. The night is cold, the sky is filled of stars as the waves of the sea is like a melody in my ears. How... fortunate and unfortunate to face our fears. I can admire the sea even though it brought so much pain and trauma to me and just like that, I know Doyoung seeing me are both a pleasure and pain for him.

Maybe, no, he loves me that much.

And I wish he could be someone's greatest love even though it would never be me.

We stood in front of my room, Doyoung glanced at me as he smiled again, looking calmer now. "Take a rest, Jeongwoo." he uttered. I bit my lips as I gave him a nod. He took two steps away as I called him, not letting a chance like this to slip away, a chance to end everything we never started, "Doyoung... do you hate me?" I asked. He stared at me that it touched my heart.

He shook his head. "I will never hate you, Jeongwoo. I don't know if you're clueless about it, but I know to myself, my heart is filled of love for you, that I... will always long for your happiness regardless of the prize."

My lips trembled. Doyoung never said those things to me before and my heart is ripping, it's aching for I need to break him when he never tend to hurt or harm me.

Tears streamed down on my cheeks, feeling bad for what I've heard that I'm starting to feel sorry. "I'm so sorry..." my voice cracked, Doyoung's stunned expression greeted my eyes as I lifted my head up. He pulled me as he patted my head, "Ya, I didn't say that to make you feel guilty or bad. C'mon, don't cry." he let out a chuckle but I can see his shoulders moving, he's crying too behind me as he was trying to calm me.