All I want is for you to be happy

Haüboüge

N/A: Ok… so… This got 1K reads… O.O… THANK YOU!! I am speechless… so if you have any idea on how to celebrate this… let me know, you want a character named after you, you have any other idea, let me know, dm me, tweet me, leave a comment here whatever you feel like doing. Again… THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EACH AND EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU READING THIS!! Now enjoy! ;)

Needless to say that once that conversation was over, I went straight to the shower, and stayed under the running water for a good amount of time, trying to figure out what had just happened. Perhaps, in a way, I was hoping for the water to erase all the memories of the last hour of my life and drain them away.

Maybe you are wondering why do I want them erased… if they are, somehow, what I have been waiting the longest time for.

Because when I think about this situation there are many doubts that bombard my mind. Why would he do this when he is drunk but not when he is sober? Why has he been with Alex for so long if he has feelings for me? Does he respect me at all? Does he see me as an easy boy who he can have whenever he wants because he knows I have feelings for him? Was he really going to use me like that and then forget about it?

Maybe the answers to all those questions are not the ones that I have in mind, but if they are not, then there is a lot that I need him to explain me.

When I failed miserably and painfully to erase my memories, I decided to keep my mind busy with any other thing; so I would stop torturing myself with those questions which will probably remain unanswered forever.

When I left my room Scott was sleeping on the couch. I did not want to wake him up so I took two blankets to cover that long body, and left some water on the coffee table, a bottle of ‘Advil’ and a note:

“Susan,

I will be out all day. There is some stuff that I want to do. If you need something call me. There are Chinese leftovers in the fridge you can have them if you want. Don’t call to any of the numbers you got last night until we double check them!!

See you later,

                Samantha.”

Then I left. On my way to the car I was thinking about going shopping because that always helps, at least a little. But when I started the car, the song ‘Graveyard’ by Feist started playing. And I stayed there until it was over, the last verse of the second stanza placed a lump in my throat.

It was then when I realized that the best way to keep my mind busy was singing. I called Ryan Parma and I asked him if I could come over. Ryan told me that they would be free in approximately two hours.

I went to the closest Starbucks to the studio with my computer and my headphones that I had in my purse, because I thought of answering some emails while taking my first coffee of the day. Instead of doing that, I submerged myself in the song. I heard it about twenty times in a row so I could memorize every little nuance. The song is perfect in itself so there was not much to change. I only brought it to my comfort zone, and I knew that I only wanted an instrument and my voice.

When I got it more or less the way I wanted it, I headed towards the studio. Once there, I explained the team my ideas, and they told me it was quite easy because with a couple of angles would be enough, and the editing would also be easy and probably really quick. It would all be done as soon as Jamey Arent, the guitarist, had mastered each and every chord, which was surprisingly fast. It took us less than an hour and a half to have it all under control.

While Caleb Hollenback, the engineer, and the rest of the team were putting all in order so I could upload the video to YouTube, I went back to Starbucks and I bought coffee, doughnuts, and cookies for everyone. When I came back, around thirty minutes later, it was all almost done.