Some days I like to reminisce, think back to the summertime and all the sunsets we missed. I think about the tie-dyed shirt you were wearing the day of our first kiss and how we spent the night gazing up at the stars trying to figure out if constellations were a myth. I think about the night we toured your hometown and I taught you how to waltz in the gazebo; I think about how I almost didn't suggest we hop in, for I was never the spontaneous hallmark moment type. I think about that morning on the courthouse steps and how stopping there and enjoying our breakfast seemed so routine, even the embarrassingly intense moments on the top of that hidden hill felt like a natural every day thing. I think about the nights spent dancing in your kitchen and the giggles we'd have over breakfast the following morning. I think about every healing embrace and every content smile. I think about the moments spent staring in awe and admiration. I think about these moments and can no longer deny that we were different people back then, and I foolishly mourn our cheery disposition the way old people mourn the "good ol days"
I think back to our first date and laugh at the fact that when we met for the first time I wasn't nervous but was absolutely petrified every date after. I guess I figured that finding out you hate me after the first hello would be far less painful than finding out you hated me later down the road and keeping you around only became more and more important as time went on. I think about how magical things used to feel and how free we used to be. Now, it feels like I am a senile old man desperately and ignorantly holding onto the concept of black-and-white TV, reminiscent of the feeling of seeing moving pictures for the first time.
Is that magical feeling gone for good? Have we outgrown it? Or will the magic reappear after I stop referring to the past as the good ol days, and speaking as if every good thing to come has already passed us by.
The more I reminisce the more I admonish myself for looking to the past and fixating on what was. For when we pay our respects to the good ol days, we must also remind ourselves to look up and onward so we don't miss the good days that lie ahead.
