While I have not one regret when it comes to you and me, there are some things I wish I did but didn't; things I could have done but didn't. There are plenty of different ways I wanted our story to go. I worked hard to try and create this perfectly imperfect dynamic. Admittedly, I over-romanticized things. I wanted to be the one who gave you everything you needed. I wanted to be your friend, your lover, and your safe haven and my desire to be all of those things only grew the more we got to know each other. I was ready to do whatever it took to keep you. I was eager to give you a sense of stability and comfort, so much so that I started to prioritize you in an unhealthy way.
The things I did for you were things done without hopes of reciprocation and while I was comfortable with that, you were not. You never seemed to fully understand or accept why. I was patient, flexible, overly-forgiving, I made my self very available to you, and you couldn't not try and reciprocate. You took it upon yourself to try and give me what you think I wanted and suffocated under your own cloud of pressure. You tried to be someone I never asked you to be, you tried to give what we both knew you couldn't give. Towards the end, there was a separation. You asked for space when you actually wanted an exit. You pulled away and made the decision to leave under the guise of doing what was best for both of us. My darling, your exit was a decision made for you and only you. I was determined to stay and fight, but still, I let you leave. As I am desperate for your happiness even if for now it doesn't include me.
I won't lie about wanting you back in my life, there will always be space for you. I don't want to be your lover, I don't want romance from you.
Oh to have the chance to be your friend again, there's absolutely nothing I wouldn't do
