I often say that I miss the person I was back then.
It's no secret that I was more passionate,
More sensitive,
More playful.
I was flirtatious and care-free
I look back at the person I was and ask myself what happened to me.
It's easy to blame this on you because then I wouldn't have to take responsibility for my actions.
You love who you love it just so happens that it wasn't me in the end, and that's okay.
I realize that you are not to blame at all.
As I take a look at the past, I think about all the things I could have said, all the things I could have done.
But,
I'm not so sure anything would have changed.
As I take a look at the past, I think about all the memories I've made, all the friendships, all the connections without commitment.
All the hearts I've broken,
All the feelings I've hurt.
I look back and realize that I wasn't as put together as I thought.
Aside from you, there was a lot of loose ends, a lot of uncertainty.
I spent a lot of time moving from person to person, groups of people to other groups of people.
Looking for someone or something that would give me the same feeling you gave, so that I wouldn't do what I swore I would never do.
I look back at the past and realize that I wasn't the victim. I treated plenty of people poorly and didn't even realize.
I look back at the past and its crazy to say I missed the person I was.
There was a period of time where I fell victim to addiction and bad habits, a period of time spent feeling sorry for myself but that is over and done with.
I take a look at the past and regret certain things but I also see an opportunity to correct my mistakes
I look at myself now, and I see potential. To do better, be better.
I spent too much time focusing on the wrong things, but times have changed and so have I.
