I'll never quite understand it.
never.
Love, I mean.
I'll never understand why my heart beats the way it does,
I'll never understand why I get butterflies in my stomach,
I'll never understand the way my body and mind reacts the way it does.
It's no secret that i'm a sucker for love.
But, I'm on my last leg.
so close, but so far away.
I told myself that I'd do anything to get you to stay but every time I get close to acting, my mind replays the memory of you walking away.
Truth is, I want nothing more than to be wanted,
I want my energy to be matched and my feelings reciprocated.
But maybe I don't deserve it.
...
"If a person wants to know more about you, asks questions, laughs at your terrible jokes (cause let's be honest they're not very good), pays attention to you. seems relaxed around you, tells you personal things, teases you and so on then that usually means there's something there. If someone wants to spend time with you they will. They'll make time."
I find that I spend a lot of time looking for the "something there",
a fortunate stroke of serendipity.
I guess it's meant for everyone but me.
I'm told to be patient,
but being patient seems to never work for me.
I have a long list of names that brought me closer to love but also let it walk away.
C- Taught me love, rejection, forgiveness, and understanding
E- Was nothing but sweet but I couldn't bring myself to do it
T- We don't talk about him
S- Bottom line is she played me
Now, i'm at the point where I can no longer blame others for not loving me.
So, I'll be over here whenever the universe thinks I'm ready,
A lonely writer with no entity.
