It's hard to watch you give love so easily.
It's hard to watch you fall for everyone but me.
Its really fucking hard not to feel some type of way when your first love finds a new person, because even after you think you're okay you start to ask yourself why you never got the chance.
It feels like you're waiting in line for something, and someone steps in front of you and takes what you've been waiting for.
It's hard,
It's hard to say I'm happy for you, and I wish it wasn't.
I still remember how it felt when you broke my heart the first time,
Holding that over you isn't fair so since then all of my emotions have been internalized.
I keep quiet because I don't want to fight but I don't think you realize how hard that is.
I've given up, I'm no longer trying to be the one for you.
I let go and let you find your happiness, but I'd be lying if I said it was easy.
It's hard not being able to express my feelings to you.
It's hard being misunderstood,
It's hard knowing you'll never get it, you'll never understand.
It's hard, waiting to be chosen and seeing others being picked.
It's hard, wondering what they have that I don't.
I gave up trying to pursue you, I gave up on trying to win your affection, and I won't start again but,
It's hard not having closure.
It's hard not knowing why.
It's hard watching you find happiness in everyone else but me.
It's hard knowing that you'll never pick me.
