A Love as Hard as This

Chapter 23

Author's Note:
This chapter is basically just Noah and Richelle yelling at each other, if you get confused at all :)

Richelle's Perspective:

"What?" I said in a small voice. What did I just hear? Noah's joining Michelle's troupe? I'm stunned.

I looked him dead in the eyes and asked him if he was switching teams, completely disregarding Emily and Michelle, but I didn't care at all. "Are you switching teams?" By now I was nearly crying. Even thinking of losing him, even in such a small way, was unimaginable.

He looked down and rubbed a hand against his arm. "Yes."

That was it. All I could take. I ducked my head and sprinted out of the room, frantically brushing at the small droplets of water now coming down my face. I didn't want them to show, I didn't want Noah to see them. He didn't deserve to have me sad one minute and angry the next. He didn't deserve to witness my insanity.

The only place I could think to go was the locker room. I opened my locker door, then slammed it again. It felt good, so I did it again, and again.

Noah came in behind me and said, "What did your locker ever do to you?"

"Well, right now it's helping me deal with my emotions." I fired back. He was speaking quietly, kindly. I was not. I wanted to, but I couldn't. It hurt me to subject him to this.

He spoke again. "Riche, you don't need to take out your emotions. Everything's going to be fine."

I was appalled. Fine? "Noah, are you freaking kidding me?!" I yelled. "Fine?! How is any of this fine?! You're going to be on a different team! Only one of us is going to Regionals!"

He was ready with a defense, but still said it gently. "It's not like that. I'm helping them out."

"Shouldn't you be helping us out? Not the other team?" I question.

"I know what I'm doing. I just have to do this." His eyes are pleading for me to listen. But I wasn't done.

"Now we only have 9 dancers! You're leaving us in a lurch! We're your team! And you're helping them?"

"I just have to, okay? You'll find someone to replace me."

"Noah, you're the best dancer on A Troupe." That was hard for me to say. Admitting someone is better than me was...hard. I've always strived to be the best. But it really was true. "We lost our best dancer to the other team. And...what's going to happen to us? When only one of us will go to Regionals. We always planned on doing this together, Noah."

I'd switched my tactics. Maybe the only way to make him stay was to make him want to stay.

"I know, but it'll be okay. We'll still see each other and we won't mix dance with personal. We'll make it work." he tried to assure me.

"I don't know if I can...Noah, this is getting so complicated..." I whispered.

I guessed that Noah lost it from what he said next. "You're the one that's making it complicated! You keep blowing me off, and crying, and you were late! I'm not stupid, I know there's something going on!"

"Obviously there's something going on, Noah! I wish more than anything that I could tell you, but I just can't. It's something that I have to deal with. It's making everything so much more complicated, and now this..."

Noah's tone softened. "Riche, maybe if you told me it would make it less complicated."

Doesn't he get it? "Noah, if I tell you, it'll just make it worse."

"I don't even know what to think, Richelle. You could be cheating on me for all I know." he expressed.

"I promise I'm not cheating on you. I love you. But I've got to go."

I heard him say, "I love you too," as I left.

——————

Noah's Perspective:

When Richelle left, I felt no worse than I had before, but no better either. Then Jacquie came in, and a smile grew on my face. Jacquie didn't cause any drama, or leave me doubting anything, or have emotional Rolland coasters in front of me.

"So I heard you left the team." she said.

"Yup." I responded.

"I'll miss you, you know." She smiled back at me.

"Thank you. I'll miss you too."

What I said, I questioned immensely. It felt strange to say, but not wrong. I would miss her.