A Love as Hard as This

Chapter 32

Author's Note:
Huge, huge hint in this chapter! Also, if anyone does end up guessing the secret right (one person already has), your comment will be deleted so that no one else finds out and so that it isn't spoiled. But I'll tell you if you're right or not :)

Richelle's Perspective:

I felt burning all throughout my body. Maybe it was the drugs I knew I'd gotten. Shivers went all the way down my spine and back up again. I could still hear everything, was still conscious, but I couldn't move when I tried.

I knew that Noah and Emily were here, but I couldn't talk to them, even when they were talking about me. I knew everything, but wasn't able to say anything about it. It was utter torchere.

And the fact that Noah was here didn't make it any better. I didn't want him here, I never wanted to see his face again. Not after what he did to me, not after he caused me to do this.

I knew that it was my fault. But that didn't mean he didn't have a part in it.

The more that I thought about what I'd done, the more I regretted it. I had caused so much pain to Emily. She had seen me like that, which was never, ever my goal. And I had caused so much pain to myself.

I thought I deserved the pain at the time, now I wasn't so sure. Because I didn't feel any pain anymore, but I still felt just as terrible.

——————

Noah's Perspective:

I never meant to hurt her like this. Seeing her like this... made me want to feel her pain instead. I was so, deeply sorry for what I'd done.

It was my fault, too. I leaned into Jacquie. I kissed her back, meaning that there was no way I could blame her. I could only blame myself.

How could I have cheated on Richelle? I loved her more than my own life, I would die for her. Now she was dying because of what I did to her.

My best friend since I was little, my girlfriend, the literal light of my life, was dying. Because of me. That was a weight no one person should have to bear. But I deserved to bear it.

I was talking to Emily, attempting to explain myself, but nothing would ever justify what I'd done. I hurt Richelle more than I ever thought was possible.

"I warned you, Noah. I warned you not to hurt her." Emily said through clenched teeth. "You promised me you wouldn't. You lied to me."

"I know." I hung my head.

"You know that you had a part in this! If you didn't cheat on her than she wouldn't be
here—"

"I know." I did know. Far too well. And I was sick of discussing it. Thinking it was enough.

Emily continued scolding me until the doctor came out of the room. "Richelle is in critical condition," he began. "She has severely high blood pressure, she's had one seizure since she's gotten here, not to mention the loss of blood and injury on her wrist. But there's something else that we've found. The cause of the seizures and high blood pressure is something called eclampsia. And now, she'd be lucky if it didn't affect her liver or her heart."

Emily's jaw dropped open and her eyes sprung with tears. I didn't know what that disease was, but I didn't care. "Can I see her, please?"

"Sir, that might not be the best idea—" He didn't get to finish his sentence. I was already headed in.

I saw her and choked down a sob. She looked lifeless. Her cheeks were hollow and pale, and you could nearly see the outline of her ribs near the top hem of her hospital gown. Her hair was stuck to her forehead and neck with sweat.

"Richelle, I'm so sorry," I said, kneeling beside her bed. I buried my head into her stomach. "I love you."

Then there was a loud, loud beep, and I looked to see the screen by her bed. There was a large, red line. She'd flatlined; her heart wasn't beating.