A Love as Hard as This

Chapter 37

Author's Note:
I love Richelle and Emily way too much ya'll...

Richelle's Perspective:

Emily motioned for me to go into Michelle's office with her and I quickly obliged. Normally, I'd talk to Noah first, but he was the last person I wanted to see. I threw my hoodie on over my leotard and ran through the door. Following her through the door, I collapsed on the chair nearest the entrance.

"How're you feeling?" she asked with a knowing glance.

"Been better," I answered solemnly. "I mean, I just lost my captaincy, so not good."

"I'm really sorry about that, Richelle, really. I wanted you to win. You were a great Dance Captain."

The fact that she said "were" gave me more of a reality check than anything else. The correct term was "were." I was a great Dance Captain. I wasn't anymore. "Yeah, well," I mumbled. "People don't like me much, I wasn't here, I did... that. I'm not surprised. And Noah... he's been on both teams, people like him. They don't like me."

"People don't understand you. There's a big difference." She got up from her own seat and came to stand in front on me, kneeling down and putting a hand on my shoulder. "I know you have reasons, they don't. You have so many reasons for doing what you do, but they have no idea. That's why, honey."

"But I can't tell them!" I sobbed. "So they'll never understand. And I'll always get everything I love taken away from me."

"You'll never have everything you love taken away from you." she said. "You'll always have me. And Noah. And her."

"I-I know, it's just... what if I don't have you or Noah or her? What if I lose everybody? I've lost everyone and everything before." I said, scrambling for words to truly express how I felt.

"Well, I can promise you one thing. I'll always be here for you, no matter what."

I smiled warmly at her. "Thanks."

Emily grinned back. "You're welcome. You know you can always come to me about anything, right?" She waited until I nodded before she continued. "Good. Now go and do something to get your mind off of this."

——————

"Hey, Riche!" Noah called from behind me as I left the office. He caught up with me and took my hand in his, looking at me with a guilty expression. "I'm so, so sorry."

"No, Noah. Don't say sorry. It wasn't you, it was everyone else but you. You deserve it."

"You deserve it more. You've been on time for every rehearsal, minus one, since I've known you. You do all the paperwork, you help Emily, you're a fantastic leader, you make people listen to you. I can't do any of those things."

I put my hand against his arm, rubbing it gently. "You'll learn." I turned to leave, but he stopped me before I could.

"Hey, why don't we rehearse?" he asked. "Rehearsals always calms you down."

"That's... actually a good idea. Okay."

He led me to Studio A and spun me around while I laughed. When he put me down, we worked on the choreo for the Regionals video, not stopping until we got it perfect, exactly how I liked.

It was going great until I hunched over in pain, crying out.

Noah rushed over to me. "Riche? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. It's just... uhh... my hip. My hip hurts a lot." I sputtered. I grabbed it to illustrate the point I was making, then realized that I should just walk it off. It was probably nothing.

I stood up straight, grimacing because of the increased amount of pain, but shaking it off as if it didn't matter. I hoped it didn't.

"Maybe you should go see a doctor," Noah suggested.

"No, I'm fine," I countered.

——————

Noah's Perspective:

I let it go, deeming that she should be the one to judge if she was okay or not, it was her body. But when we finished the routine, she made a face again.

"Richelle, you should really go to the doctor," I said, a little more harsh, getting my point across.

"No, Noah." she responded in a similar tone. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine!" I reprimanded. "You're in pain, I can see it clear as day! I'm going to tell Michelle and Emily."

"Noah, don't you dare," she warned before she collapsed into my arms due to the pain. I walked with her out of the door, practically dragging her as she found only hobble, then absentmindedly picked her up.

It was no real feat—she was incredibly light overall—but it seemed she had gained a fair bit of weight since the last time I carried her. I didn't want to ever call her on it—I would never want to hurt her feelings—but I wondered why. What would cause her to gosh that much weight in mere months?

I put her gently in my car, sending her an apologetic look as she glared at me.