Carnal Desire "The Awakening"

Chapter Five

Tuesday, September 1st

~JORDAN~

Walking out of Sydney's classroom gave me a sense of accomplishment. Not because I was boasting about our sexual escapade just now or anything, but because I was feeling a little upset about what I saw earlier during lunch. I guess on some level I wanted to make her mine subconsciously. I didn't want her to feel like she needed anyone else. Only me.

Does that make me possessive? Or manipulative? Or an asshole? I couldn't help but to ask myself these questions. It's not like I could talk to Kennedy and ask her flat out without causing suspicion. Come to think of it, in my defense, I'd rather think of myself as being protective. Protective of what's mine. And Sydney is definitely mine. Call me delusional if you will, I could care less. If being protective over someone I love is wrong than I welcome the delusions with every ounce of love that I possess.

I know I shouldn't let seeing Sydney and whoever his name is get to me, but all I could see at that particular moment was red. I've never experienced such rage towards someone, at least not like that, especially someone I haven't met. It took everything I had not to go over there and knock him the fuck out. I couldn't stand seeing his hands on her.

Normally, I wouldn't mind her talking with someone. Granted, I get jealous, I'm not perfect. I understand she's working and she's going to have to converse with other teachers. If I'm being entirely honest with myself, it was the look in his eyes. I didn't notice it until now. But the look in his eyes said something far more different than what the gesture was initially intended for. So, yeah, like I said, I'm just protecting what's mine.

Yeah sure, I've had my fair share of girlfriends in the past and I've had my bouts of jealousy when it came to men hitting on Sydney. We've had our arguments over it but even then, I was able to reign in the anger I felt. In all honesty, I couldn't really blame them. They had good taste, I'll give them that, but that's about all I'll give them.

Feeling such animosity isn't like me. I'm usually calm and collected. Sometimes even quiet. Kennedy likes to say I'm shy, but I like to think of myself as more reserved then anything. My motto has always been, 'The most dangerous person is the one who listens, thinks and observes.' Said by one of the worlds greatest martial artists of all time, Master Bruce Lee. It's fair to say that today, I let my emotions get the best of me. Granted that I didn't do anything that could potentially hurt anyone, I did manage to calm myself down. I guess the upside is, no one got hurt in the process.

When it comes to Sydney I can't think straight. I know no one can truly own another person, I know I couldn't stop her from having feelings for someone else. A part of me knows that if it ever came down to it, I would let her go if that meant putting her happiness over mine, if that's what she really wanted. But that doesn't mean I would give up without a fight. Why should I let the other person win? Why should I have to sacrifice my own happiness in the process? Why would I even let someone come in and try to fuck shit up? I'll be damned if I'm going to let someone come in and try to take her away from me. I just found her. Fuck! Here I go again. I need to calm the fuck down.

I needed to get my mind off things for a while, even if it's just for a couple of hours. I need to shake these negative thoughts and feelings and I knew just the place to go.

I continued to walk the halls in order to find Kennedy. I walked through the main doors and once I got to the parking lot, I notice Kennedy standing by my car. Her mood has most certainly changed in the short period of time, it went from annoyed to excited in the short span of 20 minutes. I was about to comment on it when my phone beeps, notifying me that I got a text. I look at my phone and see my dads name appear.