Carnal Desire "The Awakening"

Chapter Thirteen

Saturday,    January 23rd

JORDAN

I closed my calculus book and pushed it to the far right corner of my desk. I spent most of my morning finishing the last of my assignments for the week, elated now that I could relax for the rest of the day. Although, I don't know if I would be able to truly relax after the way my life's been going lately. I stood up and walked over to my bed. Plopping down, utterly exhausted from having a rough couple of months. A couple meaning the last five.

As I lay on my back staring at the ceiling, I couldn't help but to think of what my life has become. Remembering when times seemed so much simpler than this. What I used to think of as normal stresses now seem foreign and fleeting. A distant memory to what has now become my 'new normal'.

I find myself missing those days or those moments of having no worries other than having to go to school, study endlessly for tests, or even being slightly annoyed with my friends and the gossip they managed to accumulate every day. Finding solace in reading substantial books or going to the gym for fun. In the gran scheme of things it all seems like mindless activities, especially now. But somehow, I still miss the simplicity of it all.

Now that my family has been made whole again, thanks to old and new friends, we have been trying to regain what we have lost. If I'm being honest, I dont think things are ever going to completely go back to normal. At least not until we find Renato. Which has my dad searching for him tirelessly, I know he won't be able to sleep a full night until he's found. Dad's making sure not to leave no stone unturned.

And as far as how my mom is coping, I'd have to say she's trying to put everything behind her, but I can tell something has her worried. Parents being parents, they're not going to give me all of the details. On some levels it doesn't bother me, mainly because I know its most likely for my own protection. Then another part of me thinks them keeping me in the dark could actually end up being a hinderance. Only time will tell I guess.

Although, I have noticed she does get a little upset when we start to treat her with kid gloves. You can't blame me and dad though, after what we had to go through to get her back were bound to keep her as close as possible. I know it's probably nothing compared to what my mom had to go through, but we worry just the same. Mom thinks dad has gone a little overboard by tripling the size of our security, more so mom than me. I still have Leo watching over me, I'm just thankful he doesn't hover, and I still get to see Sydney should the need arise.

And if that isn't enough to deal with, this Drake guy still hasn't even been spotted or heard from. The police have no leads to his whereabouts. I know I could easily call Vinceta and have her people look into it, but then I would owe her a favor. Even I know I could be indebted to her for years and who knows what she'll ask of me in order to pay back my debt. I would rather use her a last resort. If this Drake character is smart, he better know enough to stay away from Sydney.

I absolutely loathe sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop. But it's not like I had a choice other than to lay here and stare at the ceiling. Fuck it! I can't do this anymore. I need to get up and do something. Anything. I decided that going downstairs to our personal home gym would probably be best, working off some of the stress Im under is better than sitting around doing nothing. Calisthenics should do me some good. So I changed into red Nike basketball shorts, a white Nike muscle tank, and black Nike cross trainers, then went about my routine.

My entire workout, my mind kept drifting to how fucked up everything was. Just like the situation with my mom, it's the not knowing thats the issue. It causes more stress than anything. Another contributing factor is not having a plan or at least an idea of what youre going to do. I didn't have an inkling of what needed to be done and from what little I know about this Drake Webster, I wouldn't even know where to begin.