Warning: This chapter contains triggering topics such as depression, suicide and other mental health problems. As well as use of profanity.
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"I miss you."
Were the last words she heard from her ex before she completely disappeared.
No one knows where her she went and whether or not she's alive.
Her family reported her missing but to this day, after a whole year, nothing has been found.
She couldn't help but feel guilty about her disappearance.
The last thing she told her after hearing her ex telling her that she misses her, was..
"Fuck you."
Before walking away and out of her life.
"Hyejin, you're day dreaming again." Her bestfriend, Wheein, told her while waving a hand in front of her face.
"Sorry." She apologized as she looked down, playing with her fingers.
"Are you still thinking about her?"
Hyejin didn't answer, which only confirmed Wheein's assumption.
The latter sighed and held her hand.
"No matter how many times I tell you it's not your fault. You'll just keep blaming yourself even more. "
Hyejin gave her an apologetic smile.
"We don't know what went through her head at that time, Hyejin ah. I understand that you reacted that way towards her because of anger. Your relationship has been rocky from the start but still it is not your fault she suddenly disappeared. Let's just hope she's well and alive, ok? "
Again tears found its way down her face as she thought of her ex. She has been worried sick to the point of her neglecting her own health. The thought of her ex possibly being dead while still missing, makes her feel different levels of anxiety.
"I can't help it, Wheein. I may have been too harsh on her. She was trying her best to save our relationship and all I did was being selfish. I pushed her away and treated her like trash when all she did was love me. I didn't even know that she suffered from depression because she always wears a bright smile on her face. I took her for granted and accused her of something she never did."
"Accused her for what?" Wheein asked curiously.
"I- " Hyejin took a deep breath and shut her eyes.
"She started being distant and I thought she was cheating on me. So I followed her one day where she happened to meet a woman. And that's where things became rocky. When all this time she was just meeting her therapist. Till this day I feel guilty for not noticing how bad her mental health was. And I feel like I might have added to her depression. I wasn't a great girlfriend to her, yet she stayed. I didn't give her the love she deserved and yet again she loved me with her whole being. Now tell me, Wheein ah. How is it not my fault that she disappeared?"
Wheein stared at her trying to process the newly received information.
"Is this why Moonbyul unnie and you had a big fight some months ago?"
Hyejin nodded still playing with her fingers, remembering the argument they had.
"Wow." Wheein breathed out in disbelief and leaned back on the sofa.
"Then that probably means that she knew everything and she's mad at you for her best friend's disappearance which is why you blame yourself as well."
