broken || outerbanks, jj

twelve

tuesday ; 5:38 pm
camerons

"do you want to go to a party? topper said there is one going down across the street from him. said all was invited." sarah and i were sat in the living room of the camerons house hold.

i always loved going to parties with sarah. she was always the life of the party. always made me talk to new people.

since i got back, sarah and i have been talking. it was short talks, but it was something.

"i don't know." i looked up at the tv that was hung on the wall. a movie was playing, something sarah had been watching. "when they say 'all is invited' does that mean pogues?"

"definitely not. that's one risky party if that were true." sarah sent a laugh my way, making me crack up as well.

"okay, then yeah sure. what do i wear?"

"something nice, maybe hot." she shrugged her shoulders and she watched whatever was on the tv.

"hot? probably not." i playfully rolled my eyes at her.

i got off the couch and walked over to the stairs. rafe was walking down them and shoved passed me as he was in a hurry for something.

"please tell me one of you knows where my stash is? i had it last night. it was in my window sill and now it's gone." rafe was out of breath. he had sweat stains covering the back of his shirt.

"my guess, ward has it. or wheezie is playing a mad trick on you." i stated before running up the stairs and into my room.

my room still didn't feel like my own. but it was comfortable. it was livable. i liked it and i guess that was all that really mattered.

i picked and picked through my clothes, finding nothing. i didn't know what to wear. i didn't know if i wanted to be comfortable or smoking hot.

i plopped onto my bed and sighed. "this is stupid."

no one was gonna care how i looked. so it shouldn't matter to me. everyone there was probably more worried about whether or not they looked good themselves. i stood up again and grabbed the first thing i saw, shrugging at it and walking to my bathroom.

i took a long shower. one of those showers where you sit and let the warm water run down your body for a solid 10 minutes, then wash everything and shave everything. it was an hour shower at most. the water soon turning cold, telling me i had used all the hot water.

when i was younger, i was told that losing hot water only happened to poor people. it didn't. it just depends on how many people have taken a shower in a span of time. how many people have sat and took long showers.

i got out and dried off, starring at myself in the mirror. i haven't given my body a good look since i left.

that last person i gave my all too was jj. jj maybank. he was the last person to see what was under my clothing. he was the last person to touch me in ways that others couldn't.

well expect for my cheating 'thing' i had with blake in the bahamas. though we never had sex much. once or twice i think.

i shook both jj and blake out of my head and put my clothes on. the black top made my boobs look bigger than they were, which in all honesty, it made me uncomfortable. but i wanted to look nice, so i shrugged it off.