broken || outerbanks, jj

twenty six

sunday 11:16 am

i woke up to pope and john throwing a ball to each other in my room. kie was still sleeping in my bed while jj was sleeping on the floor. i was next to kie in my bed, now watching two idiots play around with a ball.

"morning." john b spoke as he threw me the ball. i caught it, almost not.

"morning. how long have you guys been up?" i asked as i got out of bed, throwing the ball to pope then stepping over jj and going to my closet.

"since 10:30." pope answered.

"oh shit really?" i turned and faced them.

"yeah, we were going to wake you but decided against it." john b shrugged.

"i see." i nodded and then continued looking through my closet.

i found a cute yellow shirt i got a while ago and some grey shorts. i grabbed a clean bra, letting a smile slip to my lips as i remembered what kie said to the boys last night about how females rewear bras. then i grabbed some underwear.

i turned back and faced the two boys. they were in their own conversation again so i just let them be and walked out of my room and into the bathroom.

i hoped into the shower, quickly doing my business, before deciding to shave as well. so i quickly shaved and then shut the water off and got out.

i was never the type to take quick showers but there was four people in my bed room right now and i didn't want to just be rude and take an hour long shower.

i dried off and changed into my new clothes. i brushed through my wet hair and re parted it down the middle. i looked in the mirror, liking the way i looked so i grabbed all my things and walked out of the bathroom, back into my room.

"that was like a 10 minute shower. that's weird for you." jj stated as he was now sat on my bed with the sleeping kie.

"good morning to you to." i rolled my eyes at him playfully.

"good morning."

i laughed and shook my head at him. he knew to much about me. and those things were always so small that most humans wouldn't even notice.

"so how have things been going here?" john b asked as i put all my dirty things into my hamper.

"good. everything has gotten better except rafe, but i was kind of expecting that." i told them as i sat on the edge of my bed.

i noticed how close i was to jj. i was at least an arms length away, but he didn't seem to notice.

"you and rose, you're okay?"

"yeah. i actually started calling her mom, so that's something."

"reason?" pope asked.

"we talked through things. she told me her side of the story with my dad and all that. it just seemed disrespectful to call her rose you know? she is my mother and even though i saw some pretty shitty things, she had reasons for them." i shrugged at the boys.

"can i ask, what was her story?" jj asked.

i smiled at him. for some reason that one question made me want just hug him and cry. i wasn't sad but i just wanted to.

i ignored those feelings.

"well its kind of a long story, but for short, they stayed together for me. and dad knew she was seeing ward and actually told her he was okay with it. something to do with them not being in love anymore. turns out my dad was still in love with her and told everyone she was cheating."

"oh wow. that's," pope wanted to say something but couldn't.

"fucked up? i know." i shook my head. "i want to hate him, you know? like he told me all these bad things about my mom, but i can't because the man is literally dead. like he isn't even here for me to hate. i feel like i can't hate him for anything that he has done to my mom, or even me."

"how is that going for you?" john b asked. i assumed he was asking about the death of my dad.

"i'm good. i know that he did it himself. he drank a lot and he was just all around unhealthy, so it was bound to happen."

"do you miss him?" jj looked over at me. he was genuinely curious.

"definitely, but sometimes i tell myself that it's better off that he's gone. like i said, he did some pretty shitty things to me and my mom, so sometimes i'm just okay that he is gone."

"i can understand that." pope nodded his head at me.

i nodded my head back at him, looking at all the boys. "yeah."