broken || outerbanks, jj

thirty

8:56 pm
the lighthouse

us five walked around for a while. jj put the blunt out a while ago, both of us feeling high. it was nice honestly, having jj as jj and not an angry filled man.

jj was angry at the world, i had to remember that. he was angry at me at the end of last summer, but he wasn't now. he hasn't been for a very long time. i was just always an easier target to take his anger out on.

"i think we are in the clear. i see no other vehicles or any people." kie stated as we walked up to the lighthouse.

us five entered the lighthouse, going in a hidden opening that was covered with a screen door. it was probably from an old house that was torn apart a while ago.

once we all entered, all of our flashlights were turned on so we could see.

it all looked the same from the last time i was here. it was torn apart, rusted, old. it was all the same.

"alright coop, this is where you take over." pope nudged me, "get us the hell up there."

"oh shit, i forgot i had to do that." i lead them to a stairwell, praying to god that it wouldn't just collapse as soon as i put my foot onto it.

"wait." jj stated, "that looks like it could fall any second." jj moved in front of me, pushing past us all, "i'll go first, make sure it's safe. cooper, just tell me which way."

i turned back and kie had a huge smile on her face. i couldn't help but smile either. "okay." i turned to jj, "just follow the stairs for now, i'll tell you when to take a turn."

jj nodded and slowly took a step. it creaked, but he continued.

us five made our way up, being very cautious of where we stepped and how we stepped. if one of us went down, i was pretty sure we all were going down.

"alright, it's on your left." i pointed as jj nodded, opening up a door. the door creaked louder than anything, making us all cover our ears.

"holy fuck." john b whaled. "that shit is loud."

"well it's a medal door, kind of expected." pope shook his head.

we all walked out onto what seemed to be the balcony, us five separating and walking around it.

"this is absolutely beautiful." kie said, gaining head nods.

"very." i mumbled. i shut my flashlight off, sticking it into my back pocket.

we took seats on the edge, all of our feet dangling below us. it was very frightening, but i wasn't going to be the one to say something.

this was definitely still a beautiful sight. it was gorgeous. the last time i was up here, i was alone with jj. and it was gorgeous then too.

we stayed up there for a good half hour, taking everything in. looking at the stars and the boats. it was soothing.

9:45 pm

we all headed back down, slowly making our way to the stable ground. i could tell pope was getting more and more excited as we got closer to the ground. the pitch in his voice every time he talked gave him away.

once we made it to the grounded, john b put back the screen and faced us, shinning his flashlight at us.

"that was so awesome." kie stated.

"it was epic." pope chimed in.

"definitely, but i say we never do it again." john b said making us all chuckle at him.

"yeah, it's a tiny bit dangerous." i agreed with john b.

"i know, how the hell did we not die?" pope questioned.

"luck?" i shrugged.

we all started to make our way back to the van, but before i could reach for it, jj stopped me. "hey guys, coop and i will be right back."

i looked over at pope, john b and kie and they all shrugged at me.

jj grabbed my arm, "follow me?" he asked. i nodded and he interlocked our hands, pulling me with him.

jj and i walked away from the van, the others voices becoming nonexistent. we just walked for a while, not saying much of anything.

i could tell jj was thinking about something, but not knowing what went on in his head, i couldn't tell what it was about.

"we should talk." jj stated as we walked farther and farther away from the others.

"yeah." i looked down at my shoes, then our interlocked hands.

it went silent for a while, us two just taking each other in. it was nice having jj by my side again. it was always comforting for me.

i missed being alone with jj. having jj around to keep me occupied from the bad things that went on around us. i missed jj.

jj's breath hitched as he started to talk. "i'm sorry for the past few weeks."

"don't be sorry."

"no. cooper, i am sorry. i'm sorry for blaming you for every thing, for not being there when your dad passed. i'm sorry for the outbursts and the name calling. i'm 19, i should know how to act like an adult when i need to, and these past few weeks, i'v been acting like a child."

"i'm sorry too, jj."

"you don't have to apologize. you've apologized more than enough. it's my turn now. so i'm sorry. for everything." i could feel jj glancing at me, but i pretend like he wasn't. i left that if i looked at him, i'd break down right then and there.

"let's just start over." we both stopped walking.

"what?"

"start fresh." i shrugged, finally looking over at him.

"okay."

a small smile grew on my face as i stopped walking, jj stopping as well. i let go of his hand and smiled.

"hi, i'm cooper." i put my hand out for him.

"and i'm jj." jj shook my hand, but then pulled me in, hugging me.

he held me close to him, his head resting on top of mind. "i miss you." he whispered.

"i miss you too, jj."