Pawned Virtue - #wattys2015 BK4 TPBS - Completed 1st draft

-34-

Not edited. Thank you so much for reading and all of your support. You may need a tissue xxxx

Tara sat on the bed that had become hers when Keiran's dad had taken her in. Her mind was awash with thoughts that wouldn't go away.

Almost two weeks ago Lucas started to bring a pink rose to the school every morning and in the afternoon he arrived to give Keiran a pale cream carnation to give to her. She couldn't bring herself to throw them away but trying to understand why she kept them was confusing. Now they sat in a vase on her dressing table.

He was confusing. Why was he doing this? Did he really love her as Keiran had told her? She didn't know!

He'd made it clear that she meant nothing to him. He told her he woud divorce her so why was he doing this? It wasn't like her life meant anything anyway. She survived because she had to and for no other reason. She was simply her fathers pawn and would never have met him if her father hadn't betrayed her.

For three months she never saw him as just as she was finally starting to accept that she was as worthless as he made her feel he came charging back into her life and she saw him every day.

Why?

He never tried to speak to her and it became natural the she and Jace would leave Keiran to talk with him as they walked into the school together and wait.

She'd heard some people over the first few days mentioning that Keiran was cheating on Jace with an older man but these rumours soon died out and now there were giggling girls who thought it was romantic that Lucas  was using Keiran as a messenger. They sprouted longing sighs each time they witnessed Keiran handing over the rose each morning.

She knew the truth though. He felt guilt that he'd pushed her too far and she'd left. He couldn't appease his mind with money anymore so he was trying to bribe her with the flowers so she'd go back to ease his guilt.

She wasn't sure what her feelings were for him. That night had been etched in and inked over in her mind for eternity... but even that was still confusing to her. He'd shown he only wanted her body but then he was... caring? Why did he do that?

She'd thought she'd had it all worked out when he told her he still loved Maria and he felt like he was betraying her but then when he opened up and told her the truth about her so those reasons became invalid... in her eyes anyway.

The day she left her emotions were everwhere. He'd kissed her so tenderly, as if he actually did care and she felt herself melting the ice she'd placed around her heart for protection.

Never again.

He could try anything he wanted but she would never fall for the lies he told her ever again. She wasn't worthy of being loved but she didn't want to put herself in a position where she was near him again. It was... too much. Too frightening. Too... close.

Maybe he'd decided that she'd make a good incubator after all and this was how he was trying to make it happen?

She couldn't do it. She just... couldn't.

She looked over at the clock beside the bed and knew that it would be some time before Keiran and Jace came back from their lunch date.

Inhaling deeply she knew she needed to talk with someone and Keirans dad Pete... well, no... as lovely as he was she didn't feel comfortable talking with him... but who could she go to?

The answer was simple while at the same time it wasn't but she really missed her and hoped that in some small way she missed her too.

A small smile came to her face as she gathered what she needed to visit. It was time for Tara... the girl... to visit Maggie.