Pawned Virtue - #wattys2015 BK4 TPBS - Completed 1st draft

-7-

Not edited. Masses of hugs everyone! You're all so damn amazing. I love you all for your votes, comments and follows. Your support means the world to me. *Throws chocolate, flowers and evil desserts to all of you** xxxxx

Lucas walked back into the bedroom with a bandage wrapped around his hand. It hurt a bitch! But now he could smile knowing that his shotting aim was still bordering perfection.

He stepped out to Maggie and Tara as Maggie was trying to convince Tara to eat more of the meal provided for her. Tara kept shaking her head and saying that she honestly couldn't fit anything else in.

He looked down at the table and scowled. Half a damn sandwich?

Like fuck!

"Hey Maggie, could you organise some coffee please?" He looked at Tara. "Are you ok with that?"

She nodded quietly.

"I'm trying to get Tara to eat some more Lucas." She stood up with a sigh. "Maybe you can convince her."

Lucas watched as Tara kept her eyes on Maggie until she wasn't in the room. Her eyes screamed out the fear she felt as her body was held rigid as if she couldn't move because she was too afraid.

He knew this wasn't going to be easy but he coukd honestly say that he felt like they'd at least made one step of progress before he went to get her the food. Now. Well now he knew just by the way she was behaving that they'd stepped back ten feet.

He wanted to feel frustrated but understood that he had no right to that. After all, the way she reacted was caused by what he himself did. He understood... and hated himself.

She jumped when he started to move again and he inwardly cringed. Walking over to the other side of the table he say down.

"Not hungry?" He knew she was.

"Full."

He raised a single eyebrow as he watched how she was looking at the plate in front of her.

"And the real reason?"

Her head snapped up to look at him.

"That is the real reason."

"Over time Tara you'll learn that I can't stand lies of any kind. So. I'll ask again. Why aren't you eating?"

Should she tell him?

"I..."

"Carry on"

"I was hoping to keep it for later."

"Why?"

At that moment what could she say? Would he understand? Why did she feel embarrassed?

His head was once again full of thoughts that he had no control over. But there was one, a possible answer that set his mind on edge,

"Tara... did you think you wouldn't get anything else to eat while you're here?"

He watched as tears started to form and gritted his teeth. He'd never felt this much hatred towards any one man; not even Nicholas for what he did to his mother.

"I didn't know..." her voice trailed off slowly.

He pointed to the food in front of her.

"Eat. When you're finished we'll talk about everything but understand this Tara... you will never starve again."

He stood up and went to the balcony railing and lent over it with his hands clasped and his right foot resting on the lower rail. Surveying the scene in front of him he was acutely aware of the small sobs that she was crying and it took everything he had in him not to go to her and hold her close until she felt better again. He turned his head down to look at his hands and vowed that regardless of who it may be, anyone who hurt Tara again would die by his hand.

He swore to himself that he would protect with everything in his being. No one would ever hurt her ever again. He would protect her... even if that meant protecting her from himself.

"Oh it's good to see you eating dear."

Maggie walked through the doors with a coffee tray and placed it on the table.

Tara smiled at her with a gentle smile that caught on Lucas' heart as he turned to see the older woman.

God how he wished she'd smile at him like that.... What the fuck? Where the hell did that come from? He didn't deserve her smiles, her laughter... her wants. His wife... if only things were different, two years different. He could have coped with that. There may have been a future for them if she was older... and he didn't fuck up. Now all he could hope for is that she'd accept what he had to say and they could, maybe, be friends.

He just wasn't sure if that was all he wanted... but he had no right to ask for more. He lost his rights when he gave no thought to her and her feelings.

So for now he'd do what he could so that she could have a normal teenage life. One that didn't have the worries that she'd had to endure in her life so far. He could and would make her life as comfortable as possible.

"Come and have some coffee Lucas" Maggie's voice brought him out of his pondering and with a quick smile he sat down. Maggie and Tara both sat with coffee mugs in hand and with a feeling of satisfaction he saw that Tara had eaten all but a few pieces of the fruit. She had still been hungry but like many others he'd heard of she wasn't sure where her next meal was coming from and had trained herself to accept the small amounts to make the food last longer. Something she would never have to do ever again.

"We were just talking about the beach house Lucas. I was telling our girl just how nice it is."

Our girl?

He smiled at Tara who looked at him shyly with a nervous smile.

"It's a great house. One of the few places that I feel completely at ease. Did Maggie tell you..." his voiced drifted off as he looked at Maggie with an enquiring glance.

"Not yet." She replied to his unspoken question.

He smiled and lent forward as he placed his hands around his coffee mug.

"So Tara, when I was growing up I had this woman who helped my mum look after me and my sister. She was really nice but sometimes she was a mean old cow"

Maggie scoffed at him and he laughed.

"Well Tara, Maggie is that woman and she and I have talked and if you agree then she'll be staying with you at the beach house."

Maggie reached over and took Tara by the hand while laughing "Us girls have to stick together."

Both Lucas and Maggie looked at Tara and waited for an answer.

An answer that came in the form of a wide smile as she looked between the two of them.

"I'd like that. I'd like that a lot." For the first time since she lost her mother she felt the stirrings of what it may be like to have someone actually care for her... and she liked it... really liked it.

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