Pawned Virtue - #wattys2015 BK4 TPBS - Completed 1st draft

-50-

Not edited. 

Her hand felt so small with Lucas' hand wrapped snugly around it. What she couldn't deny, even if she wanted to, was just how right it felt to be held by him.

He led her to the table outside but rather than them sitting down he lent back on the table, parted his legs and pulled her into his arms in front of him.

She looked up at him nervously, her tongue licking her bottom lip.

Lucas groaned.

"Why do girls do that?"

"What?"

"Lick their lips like that?" he shuddered "It's... well... it's a turn on."

She looked at him in complete shock, her eyes wide as his words registered in her mind.

"Oh... um..." she did it again without realising and Lucas closed his eyes and tilted his head back, taking a deep breath before looking down at her again.

"What happened in there baby? You froze up and weren't listening."

She dropped her head to look at his chest. How could she explain that his words...

"I love you Tara."

She froze. Stiff and rigid in his arms she couldn't look at him.

Lucas chuckled softly before speaking.

"I guess we know what made you freeze huh?"

She dropped her head even further and closed her eyes. She didn't know what to say. How could she tell him those words scared the hell out of her? Well maybe not so much the words but the implications of what they'd mean.

A long finger rested under her chin and pushed her head up so she had no choice but to open her eyes and look at him.

"That scares you?" he asked quietly.

She nodded then shook her head.

"Yes or no?" Lucas asked with amusement.

"Eh... both?"

He smiled down at her and she could help but notice just how perfect his teeth were. The she blushed and if it weren't for his finger still beneath her chin then she would have dropped her head again.

"So? Care to explain? I'm kinda hoping you're ok with it ya know but I can understand that it's big. Hell it took me long enough to accept it myself."

She looked at him in surprise.

"Yes baby" he nodded "I didn't want to admit how I was feeling. I kept telling myself that I was just doing the right thing by doing so much for you."

"The right thing?" she scrunched her nose up "I always thought that that was what you were doing because..." she broke off. Bringing up that night hadn't been part of her plans just at that moment but she didn't know any other way to explain what she meant. She took a deep breath and carried on.m

"Because of guilt. Trying to make amends and well... yeh, guilt."

Lucas nodded and pulled her head into his chest with a sigh.

"I do feel guilty for that Tara. I won't deny that, nor am I asking for forgiveness. I just... baby I just hope that we can move forward from it."

"I need to take things slow Lucas. Honestly... I never expected to ever be able to stand you being this close. I didn't..."

"Didn't?" he prompted as the tears from his heart started to cloud his eyes.

"I didn't think I'd ever let anyone touch me again" her words were spoken in a voice that was just above a whisper. She wanted him to hear what she said but didn't want to say them. She was afraid. Afraid of what the words would mean for both of them. Thinking that way was one thing but saying them was opening up a wound that never healed quite properly.