Pawned Virtue - #wattys2015 BK4 TPBS - Completed 1st draft

-89-

Not edited.

"Holy shît... I'm nervous" Lucas said with a matching twitch of his mouth to go with it as he lay in bed with Tara discussing the upcoming events for the day.

Mornings that were once dreaded had quickly become the best part of his day. It was rare that anyone in the house disturbed them of a morning and that meant they could forget about the world and just be themselves. It felt strange at first but soon the awkwardness of waking up together had passed and going to bed at night and holding one another as they slept soon became comfortable and totally natural.

"It'll be fine. Everything will work out you'll see." Tara tried to reassure him.

"I don't know how you can sound so sure baby. This is freaking scary stuff!" Lucas reaction was a mix of both an adults apprehension and a childs fear.

"You'll be fine" she said with more conviction.

Since sleeping with Lucas, well sharing a bed, he'd really started to let down his guard and she could see the real person behind the cold hearted facade that those outside the family got to see. It made it easier for her to move forward and stop looking backwards to where all the pain was stored. Now the doors were slowly closing on the way things were and she found herself starting to dream about what the future would bring to them both. Understanding Lucas was a major part of that.

No. She would never forget the way they were when they first met. She would never forget the way she felt after that. She would never forget how her father pawned her to a man she never knew with absolutely no regard as to what her life may have become.

She couldn't even if she tried. The things from the past helped shape who she was today but she refused to let them define her anymore. Sure there'd be times when a memory would get the better of her but she understood now that living the memories was different to remembering them. She'd never live them again.

"Nu uh! You have to come with me and hold my hand and protect me and..." Lucas shared puppy dog pleading eyes as he hoped that she'd agree.

Tara couldn't help but grin at him as she traced the long lengths of the fingers on his right hand. While not those of an office worker they weren't those of a man who worked with his hands either. No. Lucas had the hands of man who knew how to make a livng using his brains while at the sams time he wasn't afraid of getting his hands dirty.

"You know she's probably just as nervous as you."

"At least she knew about me baby. She had some idea who I was and..." he shook his head in disappointment at the secrets his father kept from him.

"Well at least you don't have to introduce yourself to a complete stranger. You don't have to explain wh..."

"You know. You're right. I do have it pretty easy compared to other families just meeting up for the first time but it's still scary" he argued.

Tara raised herself up into a sitting position.

"It's a big week for us both. You get to meet your siblings and my Grandma is still alive."

"I'm still not happy you left the house without protection baby. You should have called me."

"Lucas" she sighed "I know and I'm sorry you were worried and I'll try not to do it again."

"No try about it baby. Even though Ellie's now out of the country and in New Zealand..."

"Those poor New Zealanders!"

"Yeh... but! Look baby, you're part of a very important family now. One with past enemies who would love nothing better better than to bring us down, to bring me down. The quickest way to get to me would be to hurt you baby.."

"Why? I'm nothing special."

"Oh baby you're more than special. You're everything. Bot one person who works for me wouldn't lay thier life on the line to protect you."

"Why?"

"You're married to the top guy baby. You're like the queen of all this. You're..."

"No way! I'm not that important! I couldn't be. I'm me... just me!"

Lucas reached up and captured a lock of her hair in his fingers and he smiled.

"Your hair's growing again"

"Lucas! Focus. We're talking about family and all this stuff."

"But I don't want to" he whined with a pout "I want to lie here with you and play with your hair..." his eyes glazed "it's so soft and.."

"And if you keep changing the subject I'll cut it all off again!"

The words were said as a joke but Lucas' reaction wasn't. One moment she was sitting upright and the next she was lying back on the pillow with Lucas half lying over her pinning her down and his fingers threaded through her hair.

"Nope."

"Nope?" she asked completely amused at his reaction.

"Baby I know it's your hair and you can wear it however you like but..." he stopped talking as a wave of coyness washed over him.

"But?" she wasn't going to let it go. She loved the way he became embarrassed when talking about romantic feelings. It made her feel like he was just as vulnerable as she was.

"But..." he inhaled "dammit woman! You just want me all soppy and not macho."

"Not macho?" Tara giggled "Not macho?"

Lucas frowned a playful frown and growled a funny little growl that had Tara giggling even more.

"Watch it woman!" His eyebrows bunched towards the middle of his eyes.

Tara rolled her eyes at him while failing to stop the giggles from becoming harder.

Lucas watched her in awe. He swallowed hard as for the first time he truly believed they were going to be ok. So many times he said it, thought it and discussed it with his brothers but believing it? Not until now. Not until he saw the real feelings in her eyes. He searched, Lord knows he searched for anything that was lurking in the depths of them but seeing nothing he finally gave himself permission to believe and damn if it didn't feel good.

"Tara" he whispered "I love you so much I'm scared that one day I'll wake up and you won't be here and I dreamed it all... dreamed you."