Pawned Virtue - #wattys2015 BK4 TPBS - Completed 1st draft

-18-

Not edited.

Lucas sat on the dock with his feet dangling over towards the water. He came here sometimes when he needed to think. The hussle of the marina and the sounds of the sea gulls made this place very real. No one would ever dare to deny that this was life. Fishermen who brought in their daily catch while the gulls sat waiting off in the wings like little vultures. Much like the humanity he'd grown to expect.

Very few people surprised him any more but there was one who had him completely on his toes and he didn't know what the hell he was going to do about it. He thought they were getting along well, ok... so maybe not well but definitely better. So what happened? What exactly was it that changed things between them?

Surely the whole lunch time thing didn't cause her to back away from him?

When she was released from te hospital he refused to leave until he knew she was settled in properly. He'd spoken to Maggie ahead of time and she set Tara up in the downstairs guest room so she didn't have to use the stairs for any reason. While she wasn't very inpressed at the time she soon came to accept that it was for the best... or maybe it was him saying that he'd stay and carry her up and down the stairs until she could walk. He had to chuckle at that memory. Her reaction was completely priceless... much like she was.

He went to the house daily and while he didn't push himself into her life he made sure that she knew that he was there. He'd chat with Maggie in the kitchen or with Jones and Adam and as if by some strange coincidence Maggie always asked if he was busy and if h'd mind taking Tara a drink or whatever food that she'd prepared.

He had to admit that after being able to see her every day that he missed her. Missed actually seeing her face and had to stop himself from continuously flicking on the computer just to see her. She deserved her privacy and for whatever reasons she asked him to stop coming over all the time she had at least she still spoke to him on the phone. They weren't completely back where they were but this distance was doing his head in. Women. Who the hell undetstood them?

As a wave hit against the dock the spray splashed up onto his feet and he gasped at the coolness that hit his bare feet. Looking down at them he studied how weird they looked. Feet really are ugly things... not hers. Hers were tiny and he'd gladly hold them in his lap and massage them for her.

What the fuck was he thinking? He sounded like some seriously warped love sick puppy and he wasn't even in love!

No way in hell would Tara let him do anything like that anyway... or anything else for that matter... and who the hell could blame her... he did the wrong thing and now he was paying for it. He deserved to pay for it.

The small vibration in his pocket signalled a text message that he truly wanted to ignore just for a short time longer. Maybe by the time he looked then whomever it was would have forgotten whatever it was they wanted... he sighed. That never happened.

The gulls kept swarming him at every corner and it was more than annoying. They all picked at him like he owed them something. Why couldn't they all be more like Tara? She never asked for anything, never once has she said she wanted money or the latest phone or.... well anything at all. Even the allowance she accepted had taken some doing. Maggie and her had to come to an agreement that she helped in the house before she'd accept one cent of it and even then she only took half of what was offered to her. She was nothing like others.

He missed her smile. Her laugh. He missed that scournful look that had his heart beat faster. He missed the way she yelled at him. Could he ever really trust that she wouldn't be like all the others in the end?

Could he put aside the love he has for Maria and learn to love Tara? It was a question that made no sense to him because no matter what Tara was a young seventeen year old girl and he needed a woman... so why was he thinking about when she turned eighteen?

His phone buzzed again and with a regretful sigh he dug it out of his pocket. Jones checking in.

Message one:
Tara's picked the college she wants to go to.

Well hey, that's pretty cool. Good for her. He felt more than a little pride to know he could help her achieve her dreams.

Message 2:
It's in Brisbane.

What the fuck? Another state? There's colleges and universities in NSW! Why the hell did she was to go there of all places?

He replied with his first thoughts.

FUCK NO!