Tommy & Tubbo || Platonic Oneshots

Gone

This is just a kind of AU [?] where Tubbo doesn't handle Tommy losing his last canon life very well - basically a different version of what happened instead of what actually happened. This one's significantly shorter than the others because it's not really supposed to be a full-on proper oneshot.

                        
Tubbo

      Me and Ranboo were in the Bee n' Boo Hotel when we heard that Dream had killed Tommy in the prison. Sam had told us that he couldn't retrieve his body, but we didn't really ask about it - I didn't want to see my best friend's corpse anyway.

      We were planning to host a funeral, but not many people wanted to help; everyone else had different reactions - most seemed to not care, some were actually happy about it, and the rest were just sad.

      I didn't know what I was feeling. Tommy had been my best friend for as long as I could remember, but, after his exile, it felt like we weren't that close anymore. Something about his death had messed up my mind, and I couldn't really think straight.

      Ranboo was trying his best. He would plant flowers around Tommy's house and leave sentimental things at his grave - well, at the tree behind the bench; I'd demanded for his grave to be there, though I couldn't explain why - and he would be there for me when I couldn't handle anything that was going on. I was aware that I was grieving, but it didn't feel right. It didn't feel real. The entire situation was just like a nightmare, but there was no way for me to wake up.

      I couldn't stop thinking about Tommy.

      What were my last words to him?

      Did Dream torture him before he died? Was it slow and painful? Did he suffer? Could I have done something?

      Was he afraid?

      I couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with guilt. I didn't know why I was feeling that way, but there was nothing I could do to stop it.

      The internal pain only worsened when I started to mistake others for Tommy.

      One day, when Ranboo had come to visit me and see if I was alright, my vision had been so severely blurred from the tears that I thought it was Tommy standing at the doorway instead. I'd felt like a giant weight had been lifted off my chest when I sprang to my feet and hugged him as tight as I could. I'd sobbed against his chest and told him how happy I was that he was alive. I'd felt him tense up and I'd heard his voice; Tommy was still dead, and Ranboo's expression was full of sympathy. I'd noticed that he had more scars on his face than before - it was a sadistic comfort to know that he was suffering with me.

      I felt so stupid whenever I thought I saw Tommy. I was an absolute idiot to think for even a second that he was alive. The only reasonable thing to hope for would be Tommy's ghost, but nobody had seen any signs of that yet. Hell, nobody had even seen Ghostbur in months.

      I just felt so broken and alone, despite the fact that people came to me every day and didn't leave me until I screamed at them to. Nothing could help me.

      I kept remembering what I'd said to Tommy after he had asked me, "What am I without you?"

      'Yourself' was such a stupid, ridiculous answer. I knew full well that he would be feeling even worse if he was in my place. I knew that I didn't really deserve to feel so empty. I knew that I was an idiot. But I didn't care.

      I just want my best friend back.

                        
Total Word Count: 630