Severus Snape: The Becoming

Old Friends, New Life

1978

A loud knock shifted his attention from the book on the table. It was late, nearly midnight. Gripping his wand, he crept to the door, easing it open only to breathe in a sigh of relief.

Narcissa.

He held the door open for her, helping slide the cloak off her petite shoulders, long shimmers of blonde hair slipping past his fingers. Her perfume filled the room: expensive and deep, honey and spice. Turning to face him, her eyes bloodshot and puffy.

Another fight with Lucius.

Motioning toward the sofa, they sat together as was their custom many times before. He had no time for the tomfoolery that the others indulged in, and spent many of his nights with Narcissa while Lucius and Bellatrix hunted muggles for sport. Narcissa shared a brilliant mind, a keen awareness of people and the hierarchy within society, and her ease at which she floated through it.

He enjoyed spending time with her. Although Lucius was her fiancé, he acted more like she was a trophy he had acquired rather than an asset. Lucius was a weak willed man who couldn't see what he had lucked into.

"Have you fought again?" Severus asked matter of factly, cleansing her face and offering her a glass of wine

She looked down at her lap, hands knotted before accepting the glass

"Sometimes I wonder why I do this. Bella says that it is a smart move to marry him. We used to be so in love. That has to be there still..."

He bit his lip at her shaky voice, questioning her life. When they first met she had been headstrong and bold, a take no prisoner approach. But in the years since, with Lucius moving up the ranks, she shrunk back more and more. Allowing herself to become small and to question her true instincts.

Truthfully, Lucius had always seen her as a conquest. Not unlike Potter with Lily. Smartest girl in Slytherin with a distinct high ranking family. Who wouldn't try to go after that? To her family, the marriage a tidy business transaction.

"This isn't the first time you've said this Narcissa. I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do. But I sense a pattern" he answered carefully

"I know. But am I too far in now to go back? The wedding is already in planning. Would I be a disappointment?" she asked with a quiver, deep brown eyes watering, spilling down her porcelain cheeks

"There is always time to change your life. What is more of a disappointment: breaking your families expectations, or spending your life in regret?" he proposed, knowing all too well the pain of regret

Lily and Potter just had a child. The anger and resentment brewed in his gut but he had to move on. She didn't want him and that had to be okay. He wasn't good enough for her. He respected her enough to leave.

"What would you do?" Narcissa asked, resting her leg against his, slim hand on his knee

"I'm not the one to ask about regrets and making good choices Cissa..." he lamented ruefully, awkwardly brushing a tear away from her eye

She was his friend. Although no one would believe he was capable of having friends. No one believed him to be the friend type. No one knew. No one cared enough. Narcissa was one of the few who dared pull back his rough exterior and appeal to his intellect.

"You know she didn't deserve you. She never understood your drive or your ambition. You would have made a better husband than Potter any day of the week. You're a better man than any of the ones we're around. That's why I trust you. I trust your opinions. I trust our friendship Severus. What would you do?" Narcissa sat the still full glass down, held his hands in hers, his heart began to race.