Severus Snape: The Becoming

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"Severus...What do we do?" Aysel whispered, hand covering her mouth

He didn't know. The world was spinning and he gripped the table to get it to stop

"I...I don't know. I am struggling to wrap my mind around this"

"What are the odds of this?" she asked, whether rhetorical or not he answered

"Well. The odds of conception given our...activities, rather high. The odds of us figuring out the paternity with both of us hiding our identities...slim to none"

"Where do we even start?" she muttered, more to herself than him

He put his hand over hers, in a touching display of care

"I think we should do nothing. Not right now. Let it settle"

Her eyes darted to the floor and back up to his, fear and panic still driving

"I cant. Oh my god. Severus. They will think that I stood up for you because you are his father. They won't believe me that I didn't know. This could overturn your deal. This could take away my pension for having insider knowledge. And what will this do to Solomon? He will be overjoyed but that puts so much pressure on us...I know you said you would stay but what happens when we leave here and life opens up to all of these new options..."

"We have several months to figure that out. And nobody has to know the truth about this. Ever. It can be between us. It's not a lie. That's privacy" he explained, the idea of keeping a secret coming very easily to him

"And what happens when Solomon tells everyone you are his father?" she pushed, tinge of defensiveness in her voice

"What are you worried about? That he will get bullied? That he will be ashamed? That it's a mistake to tell him?" he forced his voice to be as neutral as possible, the shame creeping in

"I don't know...Maybe. And that he will be so proud of it but not understand the gravity of what it means. To him, you are the smartest man in the world. His best friend. But once he tells people, it invites in the whole truth of the situation we live in. His bubble is burst. And he is still so small" she paced back and forth, wringing her hands

He stood still. Thoughts murky and back of his throat burning. He didn't want to bring any shame to Solomon or Aysel. But she was right. The protective life they had built over the year they lived together would be shattered. Would they be able to withstand the pressure of the world once they left?

"We don't need to go back into the public eye. We can do as we please. Wherever we want" he suggested, the seductiveness of the world having no effect on him

"I'm not hiding. I've done nothing wrong. And neither have you. I realize I'm swinging back and forth. I'm just so flustered. I had it in my mind that I would never know who his father was. That it would just be us. And I was fine with it. Not I have to readjust everything. I want to be grateful. I will be. But I need time to process" she grabbed his hands, bringing them to her lips, not meeting his eyes

"I understand. But promise me that we will have a discussion about it when you do" he kissed the top of her head, feeling as if a wall had built between them

"Severus! "Can we go for a walk in the woods to get mushrooms tomorrow?" Solomon asked, running into the room, the two of them immediately stopping their discussion

"Of course. It's supposed to rain tonight, early in the morning will be a perfect time to pick" he offered a small smile to the boy, taking a closer look at his features in a new light.

Which part was passed on from him? It took a moment. But he found it. His ears. Everything else screamed Aysel. But the shape of his ears? That was from him.

"It's getting late Solomon, let's get ready for bed. We will talk soon Severus" Aysel nodded at him, practically fleeing the room as he began to clean his tools and cauldron, the prospect of a completely different life unfolding before his eyes. As he moved, he realized his chest had opened up and the lightness had entered.

Hope.
——————

The next morning, Severus woke up, the world seeming different. A newfound sense of responsibility. But it didn't overwhelm him. He felt peace. A purpose. He went through his morning routine, and grabbed a pair of rain boots for their forest trip. He walked out into an oddly quiet house.

He looked for a note in the kitchen but found nothing. No shoes by the door. He walked down the hall to their bedroom, his heart dropping.

The room was empty.

His stomach turned, chill rushing down from his scalp to fingertips. He noticed a small slip of paper fluttering on the windowsill.

"Severus,
Mum said we need to get our own place now. I told her I wanted to take you too. She said we'll meet soon but I can't tell you that we're leaving. Pick mushrooms for me?
Solomon"

All the hope and peace he previously felt came crashing down. Where would they be? Why couldn't Aysel just stay and talk about this? Why did she need to leave? There wasn't any pressure to speak to Solomon about this. Did she hate him that much? Was the prospect of sharing a child and life with him so bad that she had to leave?

That familiar burn came back to his stomach and shoulders. Heavy and ominous. Anger. Thinking of happier things, he sent his Patronus to Kingsley. He needed to know how Aysel could leave without an instant crew of Aurors to their home.

Less than five minutes later, Kingsley appeared wearing a concerned expression

"Severus? What's wrong?"

"Aysel left, with Solomon. How did she do that? We're under magical contract to stay within the parameters of our neighborhood" he demanded to know, familiar growl back to his voice

Confused, Kingsley answered

"She didn't tell you? We caught the people threatening her family months ago. She didn't need to stay here. However, we did have to break our ties with her as Head Director. She didn't tell you any of this?"

Cold tingles washed over his face. She lied to him. So convincingly. He didn't even notice. How could he have done that? Hadn't his two decades of service prepared him to deal with liars?

"No. No she didn't. And now she's gone. And I don't know where. We had unfinished issues to discuss" Severus spit at Kingsley, who looked at him with sadness

"I'm sorry Severus. She didn't inform me of her whereabouts either. Did you two have a disagreement?"

"No. We were getting along fine. Making plans for what would happen after we left here. We were...friends. I can't believe I let her do this to me" he stopped talking, aware that he was being vulnerable with the wrong person

"If I hear anything, I will let you know. You have a month and a half left on your probation. I'm afraid the council won't allow me to shorten it. I'm very sorry that things took this turn" Kingsley placed a hand on his shoulder before disappearing with a pop.

He needed to find out where they went. The helplessness that he couldn't leave and scour the earth for them tugged at him. But he would use any other resource he had at his disposal to find them. He needed to bring his family back together.

Now.