Severus Snape: The Becoming

Solitude

The bar was quiet. He nursed a whiskey as the thoughts stormed his head. He hadn't talked to anyone in over a month. Not Mulciber, not Avery, not Lucius. He needed time to think. Was Lily right? Was he heading down the wrong path? Had he exchanged respect for abuse? What would his future hold if he continued down this path? Lucius promised him great things within his circle of friends, but at what cost?

Then again, what did he have to lose? Lily had cozied up to Potter and she didn't want to be around him. Even if he swore that he would change, no one would believe him. Potter and Black would continue to make his life hell because they viewed him as less than.

There was no good solution. Perhaps he could disappear. Start over somewhere new. America? He didn't need a community.

"Snivellus, didn't think we would ever run into you again" came Potter's easy and arrogant voice breaking into his thoughts

He stiffened his shoulders, forcing himself to remain calm. They weren't students anymore and their actions held weight. He didn't need to come up in front of the wizengamot, they would favor Potter anyway because of his familial connections.

"I bet it's killing you to hear that Lily and I are getting married" Potter continued to press, sidling up beside him

Severus drained his glass and stood up, purposely not making eye contact. He didn't want anyone to believe that he was responsible for a fight.

"I bet it kills you. Knowing she didn't choose you. I mean, who would?" Potter taunted, refusing to budge so he could pass

It did kill him. But not in the petty way Potter thought. He realized that Lily wasn't who he thought she was. But he still couldn't let go. The only person to ever care that he was alive had decided to marry one of the people who made it their mission to see that he didn't feel alive.

"James, let him go. He doesn't want a fight" Lupin pushed in his soft spoken way that no one respected

"Of course he does. He always does. He thinks he can best me. But he couldn't best me when it comes to getting the only thing he ever wanted. You failed at that, right, Snivellus?" Potter laughed, squaring up his shoulders to force a hand

"You got what you want. I've left her alone because she asked. It's over" Severus told him neutrally, fighting to contain the absolute loathing that boiled in his gut

"She asked because you're a loser and you're into the dark arts. She knows you wouldn't amount to anything" Potter sneered, Lupin's hand on his wand, Black smirking like an imbecile, Pettigrew turning green.

If that was how she truly felt, he couldn't change it. Maybe she wasn't who he thought she was.

"Get out of my way" Severus growled, knowing he could easily defeat all four of them

"Or what?" Potter stepped closer, chin tilted in defiance

"James, not here" Lupin practically begged, pushing Black out of the way

Potter stepped aside, sneer still intact.

He drew in a deep breath once outside, several paths of life opening in his mind. His ears perked up at footsteps behind him, and without thinking he tossed a defensive spell behind him

Potter thudded to the ground, dazed expression on his face

Potter brushed himself off and jumped up. Throwing a disarming spell which Severus easily deflected.