Severus Snape: The Becoming

One Step

Aysel

"This is stupid..." she whispered, not taking her lips off of Severus

He walked them backwards, shut the door, and pressed her to the wall, kisses deep and insistent

"Stupid enough to stop?" he managed to ask, making his way down to her neck, her knees beginning to buckle under the sensation

"No" she immediately answered, moving her head to the side to feel his lips and tongue tickle her skin

They lay back on his bed, no talking or words. Just kisses and touching. Breathless moans and exultations. She wondered if this was enough. Or if he would want more. Then the memory of seeing him with Leticia.

"You're getting distracted" he teased, turning her face to him, and in a gesture that felt way too gentle, kissed her cheek

In the past month since her termination, she began to talk to him. Ask him questions about his life. About his experience being a spy. About his hopes after his probation. About what the death eaters plans were and how he hated all of it by the end. She enjoyed his chats now, getting used to his sharp wit and sarcasm. Enjoying the push to be different and deep. To think about all the possibilities and not just the easiest choice.

"I'm sorry, I just was thinking that I was jealous today. And that you looked so perfect with Leticia. Like you two were made to be together. You're both so dark and intellectual. I guess I just realized that maybe I've been taking you for granted and holding you back..." she explained, surprised that hot tears had surfaced

He looked at her in confusion, brushing her hair behind her ear

"And what, would you say, she has that you don't? What are you so lacking that I wouldn't be equally as interested in you?"

She shrugged, looking down at the pillow

"I haven't really treated you well.  I've judged you. Said some very terrible things about your character. And I'm not smart, at least not like you all are. You're on a different level than I am and I feel like I would hold you back"

"You're right. We haven't gotten off on the right foot. We've both said a lot of things...Perhaps we were both just afraid" he suggested, sitting up across from her

"I never thought that I would...I never thought much about life. I just kind of took what came. It was always easy. I've always been a good time girl. And you...you challenge me. And at first I didn't like that. Because I didn't feel like I measured up...But that was all me. It wasn't you" she explained, taking his hand in hers, tracing his palm lines, deeply etched rivers in a valley of flesh

"I think you're more than you give yourself credit for; you're talented in ways I could never be. You're more than what you think" he enclosed his hand around hers, bringing it to his lips.

"I've always just been a one night stand kind of woman. I don't know what this means. Or how to do it. Or even what this is" she confessed, leaning forward to kiss his lips which were delightfully puffy and beckoning to be kissed

"One step at a time. No need to overwhelm yourself" he reassured her, kissing her back, hands traveling to her hips

Yes. One step at a time. And the first step was: kiss him for as long as possible.