WOMAN - H.S

21.

Hi guys! Sorry this took so long, my computer screen broke so I had to hand write this :( I hope you enjoy this chapter, feelings are real...let yourself feel.

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In my life people have told me nothing lasts forever...that's true.

Nothing lasts forever.

People don't last forever.

Pet's don't last forever.

Buildings don't last forever.

The only thing that lasts forever is feeling.

Love, Happiness, Sadness, Anger, fear, Depression, Anxiety...

As long as you live you always have something to feel.

You have the honor to remember...even when you want nothing more than to forget.

As for me here I am at three in the morning feeling fear.

The memories of what I never want to relive again circling my head. Tearing through my skull like I was going back in time.

'Don't be afraid to let me go...I'll be right here if you ever need me'

'Don't be afraid to let me go...I'll be right here if you ever need me'

'Don't be afraid to let me go...I'll be right here if you ever need me'

The words repeated over and over in my head.

I had sat up in bed quickly, my breathing heavy. I was on the verge of sobbing...but I was stuck in this hotel room.

The worst feeling is having to hold everything in...feeling like you can't make a sound until it eventually suffocates you, my chest going heavy.

I looked over my shoulder next to me to make sure I hadn't woken up Rex. I hadn't...but I've woken up Harry. He gave me a worried but knowing look.

I shook my head pressing on my chest, getting out of the bed as fast and quietly as I could going to the balcony. I knew Harry was right behind me. He had shut the door behind him. As soon as I heard the door click shut. I let out a sob. I let out a breath, then another sob. I gripped the edge of the balcony trying to gain some balance.

I looked down at the street trying to find something to name in the distance, but I couldn't think. I couldn't see through the tears.

I felt Harry pull me into him.

I wrapped my arms as tight as I could around his neck. He wrapped his just as tight around my waist putting one hand on the back of my head, holding me firmly to him.

"Shhhh" he hushed into my ear kissing my temple.

"I'm so sorry baby" he whispered.

"I'm s-sorry" I said between my cries. "No don't do that. Don't apologize. Life happens, trauma happens, and as fucked up as it feels and somethings stick longer than others. You just have to let it out." He told me.

"I-I can't breathe" I said. Harry pulled me back, so he could look at me. His hands rested on my cheeks, using his thumbs to wipe my tears.

His face held more emotions then I could name. I knew him seeing me like this was hurting him, it was killing me. The thought of him being hurt over me made me sick, but seeing it... it felt like a saw to my stomach.

"Baby look at me" he spoke. I looked up from the one spot on his hoodie that I've been staring at, trying to shake away what I was doing to him.

I'm so selfish.